Thursday, March 08, 2012


What every man needs in this life is a frog. No, not a good woman, a frog.
A good frog.
And this is easily explained.
Frogs eat bugs.
Women don't.

It's a crucial failing.

What's even worse, women scream when they see a bug, and act in other ways inappropriate.
Screaming (or flailing around and having hysterics) is quite ineffective.
That does NOT address the issue.

Frogs, however, contemplate the bug. They observe it with interest.
They strive to understand its psyche.
Then they eat it.

If importuned, they might share. I don't know.
I myself have never envied a frog his dinner.


This all comes to mind because I remembered the times when mosquitoes were about. When there was a frog present, the problem solved itself. And the frog was happy.
Consequently one must conclude that frogs are excellent roommates.

Women, on the other hand, stay up all night chasing the mosquito. They will swat at it, and strike fiercely but ineffectively in its general direction, overturning pots of orchids and the glass of whiskey on the bedside table, grunting fiercely in their exertions.  And pillows may be flung.  Which is quite disturbing.
They lack the patience and keen eye-sight of the frog.
The man present at that time will try to go back to sleep, but the crashing and stumbling all around him will prevent that.
And the unreasoning woman will bitterly resent his apathy.
Frogs are not resentful in the slightest.

A woman will be angry for days afterward.
But a frog will merely eructate.
Life, it says, is good.

It may be impossible, in the near-term, to find a woman to attract bugs for me.
Especially one who is juicy enough that she appeals to mosquitoes.
But a frog is quite do-able. I can probably find a frog.
I just need to cultivate amphibian magnetism.

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If you are presently a FROG in need of a position, please click the link below.

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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

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