This blogger has received startling data from a friend who shall remain nameless - data which shows that an American politician, known to all, is, in fact, AN ALIEN! Yes!
Not only that, but he is an adherent of a religion sworn to undermine democracy! Yes!
Despite having been born in a foreign country, this American politician occupies one of the highest offices in the land. Yes!
I am of course speaking of Gavin Newsom, mayor of San Francisco. Yes!
Unbeknownst to his supporters, and in fact the entire leadership of the Democratic Party, Newsom is IRISH. Yes!
And he sold wine when he was younger. Yes!
Even worse! Yes!
HE IS A DYSLEXIC!!!
Yes!
The heretic creed of which he is an adherent, Secular Humanism, has deep roots within the political structure of this land, and is poised to take over. Yes!
The danger. Yes! Cannot be overemphasized. Yes!
We demand that Gavin Newsom show his birth certificate. Yes! The real one. Yes! Not that fake one generated by the hall of records. Yes! We demand to examine it, to see if in fact he was validly born. Yes! Born! Yes! The evidence shows, conclusively shows, that not only did his parents divorce, but he himself has partaken of the rite of divorcement - which absolutely proves that he is AN OUTER-SPACE SECULAR HUMANIST! Yes!
[He might even be a Kenian, Indonesian, or Hawaiian. Or pale muslin in texture. And frilly. We don't know. No!]
This blogger is profoundly shocked at these revelations. Yes! And anxiously awaits more details from the dear, dear person who has taken it upon himself to forward the materials. Yes! We await anxiously. Yes!
Trepidation - we shudder at the prospect of even more horrifying revelations. Yes! Yes! Yes!
Please send more - I will take it seriously.
Yes.
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A DUMPSTER FIRE OF TWITTERY
Often while at work I get to hear the sour old dingbats in the backroom spouting Republican drivel and venom. Which does not leave me positi...
3 comments:
Spam for health food and tonic herbs? Refined eaties and cake? Chocolat? An inn with parking? And all the way at the bottom matchmaking and wedding arrangements?
Yes!
That is the kind of spam I have no problem with. I'm all about solving the shidduch crisis in Taiwan. Bring on the 'North-Eastern brides', 'Mainland Brides', and the various 'Foreign brides'. By all means.
Kashrus may be an issue, but shalom beis is a guarantee.
Kashrus may be an issue, but shalom beis is a guarantee.
Ooh, I thik I should embroider that and hang it on our wall... ;)
I don't suppose that this is the right time to point out that being born in a foreign country is in no way in violation of the requirements to hold Mayorality in the City and County of San Francisco.
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