Wednesday, November 20, 2019

DON'T KISS ME, MY MUSTACHE IS FULL OF HOT SAUCE!

The problem with foccacia is that it is too tall. Once you add extra cheese, an anchovy, and Sriracha hot sauce, and toast it gently so that the cheese melts, you end up with the perfect delivery system for hot sauce to your mustache. Just did so. Delicious. Savoring the afterglow here for a while, but I'll wash my face and brush my teeth before I go out. Just in case.

Earlier today I wondered "what if there were giant spiders, carnivorous, who came from space? And decided that we made good eating? And what if shortly thereafter they discovered that bacon was even better? Would they then cherish us as the species that knew how to cultivate bacon?"


"Sorry! Mistakes were made. We love you!"


Because, of course, the pigs would take one look at those giant spiders and totally freak-out. Unlike most humans, who would see a stupendous crab feast, or wonder whether their medication was playing tricks on them. The pigs would run off in porcine panic, and mankind would start heating butter, building larger cauldrons, and sharpening knives.

For the first several months it would be brutal culinary warfare.

Perhaps that is why the aliens haven't contacted us.

We know too much about chili-crab.
And crab with garlic.


Crab-flavour foccacia. Now there's a thought.



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