SPREADING CIVILIZATION!

As part of my attempt to bring all of you non-Dutch Americans to culture and happiness, I've been telling people all weekend about the Dutch December Holiday tradition -- so much better than the fat pervert in the stained red bathrobe -- from which you get part of yours.
Saint Nicholas arrives in mid-November with his servants, who are six to eight angry black men. On Saint Nicholas Day (December sixth), if you've been a good little boy or girl, you awake to find candies and presents.

If you've been bad, the six to eight angry black men will whale the crap out of you, stuff you in a gunny sack, and take you back to Spain where they'll sell you to the Arabs. And we'll never see you again. You little sh*t.



As part of the festivities leading up to whichever result is most likely, the Saint rides around on his horse, accompanied by his servants. Six to eight angry black men. Usually played by teenage girls in blackface.

Now, you might think that in the present age that is politically incorrect, racially insensitive.

But what's really amazing is that parents will gladly let six to eight angry black men into their house to beat up their kids and kidnap them. It shows that even a century ago, before most Americans would've even think of showing racial tolerance in the bosoms of their family, the Dutch were warmly accepting of the invaluable contributions that angry black men could make to their society, maintaining the peaceful functioning of families and removing problems and pests. Unlike in the English-world, where bad little boys and girls were tolerated, and grew up to become horrible adults, who eventually would have to be deported to Australia for violence, buggery, and sheep-stealing.

Holland is, in consequence, a better run country than England.
Australia, as you will understand, is totally hosed.



Of course, you can really play with Johnny's mind on December sixth by telling him Saint Nicholas made a mistake, he didn't have time to read all those files yet, because there are more people on the planet than there used to be.
But he will, he'll catch up, maybe even this year.
And he'll back, Johnny, he'll be back.
With six to eight black men.

Magic black men, who float through walls.

The United States needs this. Badly.

It maintains social harmony.



The Christmas decorations are already up at work. That's why.




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