IT'S A CELEBRATION!

In reaffirmation of the values and ideals that make us all mighty proud to be American, and demonstrating positive commitment to everything that unites us, we're celebrating 'National Underwear Day' today. Often, hounded Republicans rhetorically moan "why can't we all just get along?" Usually when someone with far more brainpower has pointed out that statements they had made were incorrect and not based on objective reality. Well, on this issue, we ARE getting along. Fabulously. We all agree that underwear is a darn good thing. Mostly because we have so very few people running around the continental United States wearing only penisgourds and 'asgras'. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

It's a dead certainty that at some point today I will encounter someone proudly displaying their underwear. In the past I may have complained that it was only strapping young men doing so, confidently stumbling down the street with their pants at thigh level, but in recent weeks there have been women showing off the scanty bodices and tasty lace above their belly pudge, and indeedy that is a fine thing. Be proud of your flabby tattooed body!
Let it all hang out. Blind people with your machismo or feminisma!

Amurricah!

I myself though, despite covering up my undergarments with a buttoned shirt and slacks, will also be wearing underwear, you may be sure of that. I am an American, and like probably many people I have underwear. Boxer shorts with stripes, a t-shirt gaily advertising something computer, toy, or tobacco related.

Unlike several other holidays, this festive observance does not require fratboys, yuppies, and tech bros getting drunk at Union and Fillmore streets on cheap shots.
Everybody can take part.

You know what you need to do. You probably have the costume augmentations somewhere in your abode. And if done right, the police will not be called. So join in.

Even our president is taking part. Three layers! One absorbent, one tight-sealing, one odour eating. They're all industrial strength and extra-large. Bariatric and comfy stretch.
They're waterproof and completely non-chafing.



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Make it the best National Underwear Day ever.
I think you should wear filly panties today.
Go ahead, be special. It's worth it.



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