Thursday, November 28, 2019

THE FOSSIL

One good reason not to talk to yourself is because you sound exactly like a cell-phone conversation on the bus. "Oh yeah, heading home, surrounded by uglies. Gonna have fried liver and onions for dinner. You?" As a boomer, I'm not into the cell-phone gestalt. The only reason I can see for having a cell-phone would be to inform work that the bus (Golden Gate Transit) had messed up again, or to arrange trysts or assignations. The first situation can be avoided by catching an earlier bus, which I do nowadays, and the second is something that just ain't happening, hasn't happened in aeons, and is just not likely to happen till I'm the last man on earth.

At which point there will be this exchange: "Hey Atboth ("At the Back of the Hill"), are you gonna be free for freakiness this Thursday evening?"

"Mmmm, let me think."

[Pregnant pause for several seconds.]

"Can I smoke my pipe?"


Please note that 'Boomer' in this context does not mean someone born within a decade of the war (WWII), but anyone between their mid-thirties and Methuselah. Anyone with more than a single strand of grey hair. Grandpa Simpson to the Millenials. Anyone who voted for Clinton.

Boomer complaints: It's too cold! I gotta pee. I hate rap. Why do I have to scroll down? Why are your jeans full of holes? Why Kanye, dammit?
Millenial complaints: It's not green. It's not sustainable. It's got chemicals. It's got meat.


There is more substance to Boomer complaints. It IS cold. Forty six degrees Fahrenheit. Which may be as warm as it's going to get today. But, fortunately, little likelihood of rain. When all of us moved here after Winning The War, it was to get away from temperatures like that, to a warm sub-tropical climate with perpetual sunshine, free booze, and LSD.
You millenials have ruined that by hating meat.
And wearing stressed blue jeans.
You socialists!

We "Boomers" are more likely to kill ourselves from accidentally setting fire to our urine stained mattresses while drunkenly lighting a cigarette in the middle of the night; you "Millenials" will probably die of lung damage caused by THC vaping binges with your friends. Or brain and organ failure from malnourishment because you're all Vegans, and avoid GMO's.
Like, for instance, tomatoes.



今日無火雞

Anyhow, as previously mentioned, no damned Turkey today, because there are no kids, and no relatives within a hundred miles, and as usual I didn't make any plans and would be horrid company on Thanksgiving.

Something "over-rice" in Chinatown, with a cup of Hong Kong milk-tea, then a slow amble with a pipe in my mouth, followed perhaps by another cup of milk-tea. Depends on my mood, and which places are open.

Don't really like turkey anyway.

Perhaps a flaky pastry.




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2 comments:

Cupid said...

and the second is something that just ain't happening, hasn't happened in aeons, and is just not likely to happen till I'm the last man on earth.

Hmmm, dunno! I'm not a womanizer, but I am sure, like me, every sane man can get a woman that fits his needs. The only thing he (you) has to do to get there is fulfilling her needs.
So, Aboth, it's all up to your priorities!....I guess!

The back of the hill said...

Hi Cupid,

I penned an essay in response: HERE.

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