THE ABNORMAL BANQUET

It was cooler today. But the apartment is still ten to thirty degrees warmer than the street outside, because my apartment mate is cooking up a feast to take over to her boyfriend's residence tomorrow. Now, this is extremely irritating, and proves that she is a defective Cantonese woman, because a more rational person would say "F that S, we're getting take-out", but her boyfriend is a sensitive person with special dietary preferences.
A lot of delicious staples make his blistery little soul weep.
Something like roast duck over rice for instance.
Or claypot lou mei and rice, with soy.

It's perfect weather for it.

Eat out, not in.


滷味煲仔飯

I am not a sensitive person, my dietary preferences are perfectly normal. And my stomach does not cramp up when faced with tasty things to eat.
I am, in fact, quite flexible, and don't eschew decent food. Unless I'm full.
Which, because I cannot get into the kitchen while she's cooking for the delicate man, I am presently not. I am sitting in the television room in front of my computer thinking of some nice bread and cheese (with a raw chili), or even what I could quickly do with one of the cast-iron frypans.


Lou mei po chai faan is actually quite simple, and there is no precise recipe. Precook the rice in the claypot, which you have oiled lightly. Simmer the preserved pork belly, spicy duck head, soy gizzards or chicken thigh as appropriate, slice suitably, layer these upon the rice. Add some pre-soaked beancurd stick and a black mushroom or two, shredded ginger and scallion as you sit fit, and a small splash water to generate steam when you put the pot back on the fire. Raise heat, clamp on lid, turn low and wait ten or fifteen minutes. Then drizzle in a little soy sauce.

All of that is more or less.

This is the simple method; you are basically making sure that ingredients which need separate cooking times are ready for assembling and unifying over heat, their fragrances mingling and acquiring a slight smokiness.

Some skill and sound judgment is required.
You probably already have that.


If you are my apartment mate's sensitive boyfriend, however, culinary know-how is quite lacking. Despite his neuroses about food he's never acquired an able hand. He was eating protein shakes before he met her.


And because of that, I can't get into the kitchen.




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