Wednesday, May 10, 2017

IT'S A PIZZA GOURD!

A correspondent on the internet started a lively discussion by posting a photograph of creamed corn pizza. This, understandably, led to howls of outrage. Although as it turns out both Canadians and Englishmen also do that, and therefore it must be sort of okay, if not downright godly.

Just because people do something, does not make it good.

Penis gourds, for instance.


Eventually someone posted a picture of canned tuna pizza. The discussion took on speed, and the accusation that some people were cat-aliens or intelligent slime mold was flung.

There is only ONE proper use for canned tuna: tuna salad, with capers, on thick toasted baguette. Everything else is heresy.


*PIZZA WITH TUNA*

Ingredients:
• ½ kg white flour
• ½ packet “Shimrit” [translator's note: an Israeli yeast brand]
• ¾ cup oil
• 2 eggs
• About a cup of lukewarm water
• 3 “tuna in a tin” strained of oil
• 1 small onion grated on a grater
• 4 large ripe tomatoes
• ½ tin pitted sliced olives
• ½ teaspoon sugar
• Sweet and/or hot paprika to taste

Preparation:
• In a bowl, put the flour, the oil, the salt, and the Shimrit, and add the lukewarm water gradually while kneading the dough until it becomes soft and a bit sticky.
• If needed, add more water. If it’s too soft, add flour.
• Cover the dough with a towel, place in a relatively warm place in the house, and wait for about an hour.
• Prepare the sauce: Crush the tomatoes in a food processor. Fry the grated onion in a bit of oil in a saucepan and add the tomatoes.
• Add sugar and season with salt and paprika. Bring to a boil and simmer for about 20 to 25 minutes on low heat until it becomes a sauce.
• Pour the dough into a greased pan (for the oven). Spread the sauce and sprinkle with tuna and olives.
• Bake at 180 degrees [translator's note: Celsius] for about half an hour until the dough is ready.
• Note: You can add grated cheese 10 minutes before the end of baking. [translator's note: Implying it isn’t required]
• Enjoy your meal! [translator's note: I won’t]


The recipe above was lifted directly from that discussion. I've searched the internet for the original but cannot find it. I would like to credit the scientist who developed the dish, and strike him dead. This thing is evil.



I'm saving this recipe to impress girls.




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