At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Wednesday, May 03, 2017


A reader recently opined that falling asleep after drinking, with a lit cigar in the mouth, was divine. The locale suggested was a bed or couch indoors.
In the comfort of your own flammable home.

I beg to differ. If you are going to fall asleep with a lit cigar, do NOT do so on and in combustible circumstance. Far better, in fact, to do so outside, in a moist cow pasture, where you are guaranteed not to set your surroundings on fire, and might be awakened just before dawn by the dew.
You will feel refreshed. Instead of charred. Or dead.

Your choice of stogie is also important.

If you are going to die horribly in a conflagration of your own engineering, one which was completely avoidable but no matter, how sad it would be to smoke cheap garbage en-route to your fiery demise!
What a horrible waste of your life.

Avoid El Ropo.

It is obviously far better to smoke something exquisite.
So that your last conscious memory is good.
Even if you are intoxicated.

Seriously, my advice is to not accidentally kill yourself by falling asleep with a smouldering cheroot dropping from your slack mouth onto your silk nightie and setting yourself and your couch on fire.

Please, out in the cow pasture, with a quality cigar, and wearing some suitably stylish non-combustible farm clothing.

Personally I think the whole idea is ridiculous, but I have only your best interest in mind. Hence the expensive Salomon, and the dew. Though it's not something I would do. This evening, in fact, I will go out and have a quiet drink at a karaoke bar around the corner, then get home at a reasonable hour, as well as reasonably sober. I lead a rather unexciting life.
There is no ashtray next to my bed, I have no couch.
I'll probably smoke on the way home.
Short, and sweet.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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