At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Monday, May 29, 2017


Anybody seeking to understand the female of the species could do a lot worse than studying episodes of Bob's Burgers. There are, as perhaps you know, numerous specimens of femininity on the show. All of whom exemplify the finest of their kind.

Louise is brilliant and conniving, Aunt Gayle has epic coping mechanisms, and Tina, oh Tina; adorable zombie-loving angry rebellion personified.

Bob: "After the barbecue, I promise, everything will go back to normal."

Tina: "Will it?!!? Or is that another lie?!!?"

Bob: "Stay with me here by the grill, that way your sweat ... will look more natural."

The key wisdom which you need to take away from this episode is to try and keep the meat off the ground. For some reason, my apartment mate doesn't want me in the kitchen when she's cooking. An activity she does occasionally. Such as today. Something scrumptious for her boyfriend the dude in the wheelchair. In this episode that includes fresh butter-beans (big green fart babies). My natural instinct is to ask whether his sensitive little digestive system can handle those, but I guess I'll hear about that later, either way. So I just have to be patient. And stay out of the kitchen.

Fragile womanhood is in there, cooking, and it's vicious.

I am a man. I cook my own food.

Whenever I don't head down to Chinatown for snackies, that is. Or to the Mexican place around the corner for chorizo or carnitas plus other stuff and salsa. Cheese, avocado, tomato. Pork, pork, pork. And salsa.

The other day I wondered what their Vegan special was. That put me so off my appetite that I didn't eat until very late in the evening. Small chunks of smoky fat pork with eggplant and chilies, and thin egg noodles.
It wasn't a huge production, almost no time to prepare.
Left the kitchen clean, all utensils in the rack.

Unlike big green fart babies à la Savage Kitten, which is grand opera, and terrifying to nearby civilians such as myself.

Yes, I went down to Chinatown today. Can't smoke in the apartment anyhow when she's around, and after a while I got hungry.

Plus a man needs some fresh air.

Or brown butter, parsley, lemon.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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