Thursday, May 18, 2017

IT'S SO ANNOYING WHEN YOU DO THAT!

As many readers know, this blogger and an old friend visit the underside of Chinatown late at night once per week, in a misguided tradition of several years standing. He sells books, I used to be in charge of pricing second-hand Asian-language literature at the place where he worked.
Most of which is well-thumbed highschool science.
And some tomes on gardening.


二手書在樓上

For the benefit of people who might be interested in junior algebra, gardens of ancient Suzhou, and the Book of Mormon as translated into Laotian, we helpfully placed the text "second hand books upstairs" to the immediate right of the front door. It was my piss-poor calligraphy.

Somebody once demanded to buy the sign.

Whatever. Twenty five dollars.

Special price.


One of the delightful musical offerings that crops up nearly every time at the karaoke place is infinitely recognizable. Why, even after hearing it only once, it will stick in your ears like prickleburs in wool.

EVERYONE LOVES GOATS!

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP-KVKgw4_Q.]

Other than being afflicted with spastic jerkiness, that singer looks better animated than she does in video. As a human, she seems drippy.
As a two-dee, she has a certain dorky charm.

She's a veritable bright-eyed vixen.
But strictly as a cartoon.


Most of the patrons ignore her and continue playing liars dice or telling tall tales in Cantonese. The karaoke is strictly for the white people. They flock in already drunk, yell "I love you mama" at the owner, and demand to sing Abba or Elton John. Rarely do they do rap (maybe Wutang Clan isn't even in the book), swill tequila and Heineken, and get thrown out when they start pissing folks off.



BAD GAGA, NO BISCUIT!

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5szccteLris.]

The song above is the acme of modern poetry.

Recently there was also 'Mockingbird Hill', with a video that broke the previous bounds of surreal. Unfortunately I cannot find it on youtube.
I really wanted to scare you straight!


My friend the bookseller thinks karaoke is an extremely bad idea, and will not entertain the thought that its primary usefulness is keeping stupid white people off the streets and out of trouble with the law.
He feels that they should be outside, instead of in here with us, and if the police wish to arrest them, so much the better.


The Chinese at the bar have not voiced an opinion.




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