WAIT, YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!?

Years ago I attended a wedding. Other than the ringbearer, who was all of four years old, everybody was very well behaved. All five hundred guests, most of whom were Filipinos and Chinese.
The ring bearer wasn't badly behaved, just four years old.
At that age their attention wanders a bit.
Especially after an hour.

I should mention that the reason it took an hour to get to the actual vows was because the Iberian priest figured he'd never get a bigger crowd, and played it for all he was worth. He gave an epic sermon about something.
Because of his accent very few of us understood him.
He could have gibbered in Klingon.
Maybe he did.

As I said, very well behaved. Extraordinarily so.

Statistically, among every one's friends and family a certain percentage will be psychopaths.

Do you really want a bunch of wild animals near you at that moment?


Thanks to George Takei on Facebook, we now know better.
He posted a link: The Worst Behaviour At A Wedding.

Excerpts:

"She yelled and screamed all of the way out the door until more family got her subdued and took her home. She was pissed because her son was marrying a girl she didn’t approve of."

"Did you not know that your grandfather is dying?"

"I refuse to speak to her to this day."

"The cops were eventually called."

"When you get divorced in a few years, call me."

"The ceremony keeps getting delayed and delayed so that the groom can bail out his pal, just to have him there for the ceremony."

"One of the guests decided it was a good idea to pull his penis out and point his junk at a family walking by."

"Some guy had picked up a metal folding chair, and railed the drunk into next Tuesday."

"She gave a doozy of wedding speech about how she couldn't believe the bride was stealing her only baby and implied quite strongly that the son only married her because she was pregnant."

"Your mother will not be attending your wedding, because this is an abomination."

"She then yanked her dress down and popped out her giant breasts to show off her pierced nipples."


[From Knowable.]


Thank you, George Takei.


Personally I am not averse to the institution of wedlock, or the idea of at some point getting hitched myself. A nice quiet dealio at City Hall, with the minimum number of required witnesses, and a lovely dinner at a French or Chinese Restaurant afterwards, after everyone has changed into civilian clothes, so that the restaurant staff don't know any better than that it's a nice little party of three to seven people.

A couple of friends, maybe. As well as a calm relative or two.
Under no circumstances anyone who talks about Jesus.

I am still on the fence about champagne.
I just don't think it's a very good idea.
Perhaps some sherry, and Merlot.
Or white, if there's fish.




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