SMELLY SOCIAL ANIMALS

It is with considerable surprise that I've realized that I do not like many cigar smokers. Please consider the type: Male, mostly white, probably middle-aged and opinionated in a wrong way, not particularly thoughtful or open-minded, and often of firmly held simplistic beliefs which they are seldom capable of testing or examining. This is only natural, as many of them may have gotten to the point where they can afford expensive cheroots on a regular basis by being single-minded and fairly successful, more often than not almost by accident. This they ascribe to their own rightness.
A fair number (perhaps not all) are flaming assholes.

No, I'm not just talking about Marinites.


I prefer pipe smokers, OR the never-smoked crowd. Sir Bertrand Russell was a pipe smoker, so was Simenon, and please do not bring up Stalin or Saddam Hussein, as those two were natural cigar smokers faking it big time. Stalin, in fact, chainsmoked cigarettes in private, like very many despots and psychopaths.

[Turkish dictator Erdogan is a crazed anti-smoker, fyi.]


I wish I could say that the pipe smoker is by nature a thoughtful man, with carefully considered opinions and broad-ranging tastes, who reads a lot and considers life a voyage of discovery. But that is not quite the case.
Some of them are foul-tempered grumpusses.
Some of them are Gandalfian.
With tattoos.

Pipe smokers are just easier to have a conversation with. And, largely, are capable of grudgingly changing their mind. That is marginally more likely among smokers of decent tobacco -- unsauced ribbons, Balkan blends, Baai Tabak, flakes, and VaPers -- than folks who smoke BCA or 1-Q (we'll ignore the Captain Black smoker, because he's usually a fool, a retard, a vulgarian, or even an absolute degenerate - shan't say anything at all about Prince Albert and Mixture 79), and aficionados of Mango Cavendish, or Peaches 'n Cream, might have dreams of being mass-murderers.
But they are more likable than the cigar-huffing dickwad.

A minority of cigar smokers are betrayed as all-right kinda people by their lovable pets or children. Or queer hobbies like sculling in the coastal inlets of the Bay and dating unsuitable people.


I particularly like people who can just quietly shut up and read for hours at a stretch, and don't mind the fragrance of good tobacco, but those are distinctly a rarity. More than likely pipe smokers in any case.

If they drink tea and hate football, so much the better.




In case you were wondering, I am a considerate and thoughtful person, tolerant of a truly vast spectrum of humanity. At times I like having people around me, and can be quite gregarious, though often I prefer quiet.

TOBACCO INDEX


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