At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, November 20, 2016


When you're in the middle of nowhere, any loo will do. Not quite so in San Francisco; those crappers are for customers only. One reason is that we've seen enough people dumping in public that we know that suburbanites and drunks have no shame, part of it is the extremely high cost of wash room maintenance. Letting non-customers use the lavatory is tantamount to running an AirBandB. Might need to repaint it all afterwards.
Lord only knows what those people will do in there.
Perhaps they've been saving it up since Ohio.
From whence they flew in this morning.
So that they could sneer.

"Listen, cowboy, you can take your saved-up bowel contents right back to Bunfudge. We're not here for your convenience.
If you are not going to buy anything, please leave. Go.

The blessed tourists seem to forget that coming in as a group, asking a multitude of stupid mumbled questions, and not actually purchasing a single blessed thing is an inconvenience. Inconsiderate, even.
It does not get you the key to the hole.

Do like I do. Leak in the park. There is a very nice 'convenience', with both a men's entrance and a women's entrance, in Portsmouth Square.
It is new, it is modern, it is efficient, and it can accommodate a vast horde of galumphing big-arsed tourists! Oh, the luxury!

It is at most three blocks away, and if you didn't amble quite so slow, you would be there by now. All of you. Including your horizontally excessive parental units. Were-elephants. Or are they pet yeti?

It was built with your colonic health in mind.
And your delicate bladder.

Someone overdosed at one of my favourite places a while back. They're a bit hesitant about letting white folks whiz there now. And I don't want to get involved. So I won't translate at all. All the tourists look alike.
Meth freaks, coke fiends, pot heads, heroin junkies.
Very much of a feather.

You gonna actually eat something, cowboy? Or are you just gonna stand there being decorative?

Ĉu ili parolas Anglan en viaj vilaĝo?

PS. We had a drunk woman pass out at work today. That's the first time THAT has happened. Anywhere. Do I sound like I've had it up to here with entitled people? Good!

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