WHAT IS RED, HOT, AND FRIGHTENS CHILDREN?

A number of State governors have declared that they will refuse to accept anyone fleeing violence in Syria. Not surprisingly, a majority of these men are Republicans (whose party created Isis), and most of their states are toxic pits of tea-party venom, meanspiritedness, Protestantism, and sheer unmitigated loathsomeness.


States which won't welcome Syrian refugees:

Alabama
Arizona
Arkansas
Florida
Georgia
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Louisiana
Massachusetts
Michigan
Mississippi
New Hampshire
North Carolina
Ohio
Texas
Wisconsin


Okay, well, maybe New Hampshire isn't so bad. Everybody loves maple syrup, right? And Louisiana is dirt-poor, and cannot even take care of its own. Besides, they have Bobby Jindal; they're cursed.


Polls show Donald Trump and Ben Carson winning easily in ALL these states, however. Along with Darth Vader.


Maple Syrup also comes from Canada and Vermont -- which are mighty fine places -- and Sriracha is so much better than McIlhenny's shitty pepper vinegar that I'm surprised Tabasco is even still sold. Anywhere.

I will continue to buy Crystal Hot Sauce, despite its provenance.
It's an excellent product. Sometimes I drink it straight.
And I cannot imagine my kitchen without it.


There's nothing from Texas.




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