I PROMISE NOT TO VISIT IF YOU LEAVE

The first rain of the season has washed San Francisco streets clean of the smell of stale urine which normally meets the curious nose.
And this blogger disapproves immensely of that.

If you cannot smell the problem, you may think it doesn't exist.


I do not want any of you new arrivals to think that. Your presence here IS the problem. Sure, our city fathers -- corrupt Democratic Party politicians with very strong connections to real-estate interests and rapacious Silicon Valley capitalists, whom I shall not mention by name because I ain't crazy, just remember what happened to State Senator Leland Yee -- benefit from masses of you folks driving up rents and costs, but the majority of people who lived here before you arrived derive no comfort from your presence.

Or from your peeing in doorways when out drinking.



Here are the states whose people should go home: 
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.



I'm sure your parents will be glad to see you again, and you probably have many classmates who will love to re-establish connections. Maybe there's an old boy-friend or girl-friend who is wondering what happened to you.

And no doubt, having become an older and wiser person, you should have no trouble establishing a coven of anti-vaxxers, vegans, gluten-phobes, or pure-food crusaders in your old neck of the woods.

Yoga mats are available everywhere now.

Even where you used to live




Other than that, I like the rain. It makes me think of intimacy. Warm huggies, a cup of tea inside, the possibility of a shared throwrug (but separate reading material), and dozing all afternoon.




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