SPLENDID!

Surely I mentioned that my apartment mate, in addition to being a small Cantonese woman, is an Aspie? Both she and her boyfriend ("Wheelie Boy") have Asperger's Syndrome pretty seriously. I am somewhat similarly 'blessed', as long conversations tend to wear me out, and I've always found it incredibly difficult to express my feelings out loud.

But the one thing that sets the true Aspie (those two lovebirds) apart from the socially inexpressive (me) is that they have the damnedest time reading other people's mental states and reactions.

Most of the time Aspies have no clue whatsoever.
Unless explained in complete detail, it does not register.
And even then, it may not make any sense.

Other people's emotions are a foreign language.


Wheelie Boy, bless his heart, said several things recently which managed to upset Savage Kitten, and, in consequence, when the Badger returned home tonight, he got to hear all about it. She's red-eyed from crying because of what her dumb-ass boyfriend said, he's probably entirely oblivious to the egregiousness of it all, and I fully understand why she's unhappy, and how she feels right now.

She also needs comforting. I'm not very good at that. Not entirely useless, but lord knows not the most effective human being in that regard.
Maybe not even fully human.

Additionally, I feel somewhat worn out. Much more than when I walked up the steps to the front door of the building.


One of the things I often mutter under my breath when no one can hear me is "leave me the hell alone", or, without opening my mouth, while on the bus or near irritating people, "kindly hush". What it signifies is that there is too much discordant or disruptive data to handle. There's a glitch in the input equipment, as it were. A known malfunction in the processing software.
By the same token I get extremely discommoded when two or more people are speaking at me at once. Stuff starts not computing.

One of you, hush!


Whether or not Savage Kitten works it out with Wheelie Boy is neither here nor there. Personally I hope that they do break up, because she deserves better. So much better. But whatever eventually happens, I am sure she'll express it at me, because she knows that I'll be there and will function as a sounding board when needed, and I won't say stupid things.
She never reads this blog, in case you were wondering.
I can hear what she says. When she says it.
That's a function I have no problem with.
I'm glad to be around for her that way.
And I really want her to be happier.
Which I'll hear about eventually.
She expresses that well.

I occasionally wish there were some one who would be around at those times when I've got something on my chest, except that if there were, they'd have to bring a book to pass time during the long silences while I wonder what to say, how to say it, and whether I should even mention it, because whatever it is, is kind of private, as well as uninteresting and not really worth discussing. And really, it's unsuitable to think about oneself that much, instead I should simply somehow show that I like their company exceedingly, and perhaps they need a cup of tea.

On the plus side, there would be dinner.
In the fullness of time. Several times.

On the minus side, they might never be able to figure out how I feel, or what makes me tick. That, too, might bore them. The book they brought would probably be better at showing an emotional reaction.
They'd have to be comfortable just reading.
I'm fine, really. Don't worry about it.
Everything is totally peachy.
Unclarity is normal.
More tea?


AFTER WORD

The title of this post is what I nowadays almost invariably say when responding to the greeting "how are you?"
"Splendid!"
Voiced with sincerity and conviction.
The verbal equivalent of a hearty handshake.

I used to answer "I can't complain", but the immediate response to that, almost every time, was "yeah, nobody would listen anyway".
Which is NOT what I meant to convey at all!

And you bet they'd listen. Trust me, I really CAN complain. I'm damned good at it too! Eloquently, lyrically, and at great length. Entertainingly. You bet your booties they'd listen. But what I really meant was that there is nothing to complain about right now that needs to be shared with anyone. Nor in any detail at all. Certainly not the casual inquirer. Who is innocent, and does not deserve to have an existential crisis, which certain things in my exterior monologue might seed in his or her mind.
At least not without a nice cup of tea.
So instead, "splendid!"

How are you?



Not The Eagles, man, I hate The Eagles!




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