WAKING UP WITH OSCARS ON MY MIND

On a post written two weeks ago, reader Charles appended an inquiry anent the Academy Awards, specifically the legality of taking photos with a legitimately or otherwise acquired statuette.
Apparently I am a vastless expert.

Relevant blogpost

As Butterfly McQueen said, "I dunno nuttin' bout snappin' no whatsis!"

I thought that I was just innocently writing about the complete absence of any naughtiness on my part, what with being a saintly renunciant of all pleasures of the flesh -- by fate rather than choice -- but people standardly misread whatever I write.

"Persons such as myself have perfect self-control -- so the only way we could consider concupiscence at present is while relaxing, still naked, after a refreshing shower in the utter dark of late late night."

See? That's saintliness right there!

[Quick interruption: On October 7th., I finally responded to Jackie from Hong Kong, who wrote: "好耐你仲未reply我呀。我中秋節喺屋企，家人搵我識唔識加州，我話係呀，佢哋仲搵我關於文森明里尼嘅屋企，但係我淨係睇你嘅blog，而家佢哋等我回答，拜託話我知，唔係嘅話我會丟臉㗎！That reply is here: Hi Jackie!.]

Charles stated: "there are contractual issues regarding selling and buying and auctioning academy awards. And, like, even taking your photo with an Oscar, because the Academy is insane. Even if you own your OWN, apparently? Something like that. And if you take your photo with someone else's, well, ach und wei."

It's Southern California, the heat there boils the brains. Plus the Academy of whatever it is that they claim expertise in is comprised mostly of horrendously ego-bloated hedgehogs.
I mean, really!


OSCAR OSCAR OSCAR

Here's what I found about the Academy Awards.

Begin cite:

"A guy named Robert Surtees won an Oscar in 1953 for cinematography for the "The Bad and the Beautiful." Robert is now dead, and his daughter-in-law, Carol, apparently needs some cash, because she put the statue up on eBay and there was indeed a market ... she sold it for $40,500.

Here's the problem ... there are strings attached to winning an Oscar, one of them being that if the winner wants to sell it the Academy can step in and buy it for the very reasonable price of $10.

So the Academy is pissed, and they've filed a lawsuit, not only asking for the sale price but they want a judge to give them the statue ... of course, after the Academy ponies up the $10."

End cite.

Source: BEST LAWSUIT OF THE YEAR SELL AN OSCAR


There were several naked people on Polk Street last night, including one body-sculpted and painted to resemble an Oscar. Also several extremely convincing movie-star look-alikes.

I think they should all be whipped for intellectual theft.

One person was Robert Goulet.

Him especially.


Now, pursuant the various regulations governing use of the Oscar, a representation of same, or any words or phrases that suggest the award or intellectual rights connected, see this: dense legalese jabberwocky.
It is excessively verbose, convoluted, and positively awash with an overweening feeling of importance.
Bla bla bla.


One stipulation, short and sweet, is that you cannot sell the damned thing, no matter how pressing your cocaine habit.


From Wikipedia:

"Since 1950, the statuettes have been legally encumbered by the requirement that neither winners nor their heirs may sell the statuettes without first offering to sell them back to the Academy for US$1. If a winner refuses to agree to this stipulation, then the Academy keeps the statuette. "

That's one dollar, not ten. Which gets you hardly any cocaine at all!

Robert Goulet won a Tony, a Grammy and an Emmy.
I don't think he ever won an Oscar.
It's far too late now.
He's dead.


Personally, I am convinced that I deserve an award for maintaining my fragile sanity despite no concupiscence in several years.
Not many men can do what I do.
Don't try this at home.


I am a frikkin' saint!




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