There were several things I was considering as easy essay material for this morning. Among others: the recent complete buggerup of my order at a Vietnamese-Chinese restaurant, snooty office-workers on the Number One California Bus not allowing Chinese to board (happens all the time), the absence of a loving woman in my life (they're over-rated), arrogant anti-smoking types, boisterous sports-fans, idiot right-wing cigar smokers, politicians, and Thanksgiving.
Everyone I know will be spending Thanksgiving with other people.
Thanksgiving is a pain in the sphincter when all your friends and relatives celebrate, with people wishing each other a happy Thanksgiving, gleefully burbling about their plans, for weeks beforehand, then glowing over what a jolly good time they had, for several days afterward.
As you can gather, I do not celebrate.
Which is rather depressing.
So instead, I'll just fantasize about hordes of turkeys breaking loose, then availing themselves of the ease with which heavy weapons can be acquired in the United States due to our insanely liberal gun laws (thanks, NRA!), and heading down to the malls to kill holiday shoppers.
Nordstrom, The Rack, Macys, Banana Republic, Old Navy, Barneys New York, Urban Outfitters, H&M, Shoe Pavilion, Anthropologie, JC Penney, Saks Fifth Avenue, Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdales, Zulily ....
All wiped out by an army of angry turkeys.
It would make the turkeys happy.
A reason to celebrate.
If they could also take out yoga studios and anti-vaxxers, life would be close to perfect.
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