Monday, October 20, 2014

BEARDED MEN EMITTING SMELLS

It isn't everyday that someone tells you about a colonoscopy they had to suffer through years ago. Especially when you take into consideration that A) a colonoscopy is an uncomforting occurrence for some people, and B) there are very few conversational engagements in which bringing up the endoscope and all the magical things you can do with it makes sense.

But I should mention that Mordche is in his late eighties. The mind is sometimes more flexible at that age. And he's still very much alive. His granddaughter was being run ragged; she came along so that he didn't have to drive, and I think he enjoyed giving her one helluva workout.
At his age, he can talk about anything he wants.
And colonoscopies are fascinating.

In any case, he now has a new pipe with which he is VERY pleased.
Once he loaded it up with Arango's Super Balkan and had for puffed a few minutes, he exclaimed that it (the pipe) tasted exactly like a Barling.

His preferred smoke is Dunhill's Nightcap.

[ARANGO SUPER BALKAN: this is a Latakia heavyweight with Turkish and a dollop of Black Cavendish playing a supporting role, aged Virginia underneath. Quite one of the best bulk blends around. Mordche had earlier stated that he always smoked Nightcap, of which we did not have an open tin lying around. Hence my recommendation. BARLING: a company that used to be one of the very best pipe-manufacturers, top of the line. What Mordche refered to was the pre-transition production (several decades till 1962), than which nothing was finer, possibly excepting Charatan.]

He was thoroughly enjoying himself, and the pipe and tobacco sang.
His granddaughter may have had different thoughts, perhaps.
Brand new toy, a truly fine tobacco, good company.
It had turned out to be a lovely day.
Boruch Hashem.


Pipe smokers live longer, have bushier beards, and drive their relatives more crazy than non-smokers. Anti-smokers usually die young of aggravation, puritan gall,  and sheer clench-arsed fury.
You should know this.

Always have at least one pipe-smoker in your family, for your own well-being and that of your kinfolk. It's healthy, and adds years to your life.

I don't often give psychological counsel, but that's it.

For your information: I smoke a pipe.


Mordche's new pipe is either Calabrian or Corsican briar.
His granddaughter doesn't entirely approve.
He's probably a bad influence.



Of course, one of the ironies presented here is that Dunhill (the brand which owns the Nightcap trademark) was founded by a man who was the apogee of bile-ridden bigot. He referred to his nearest competitors (Barling, founded by Benjamin Barling, Sasieni, founded by Joel Sasieni, Comoy's, founded by Henri Comoy and his nephews, and Charatan, founded by Frederick Charatan and in the later years headed by his son Reuben Charatan) in the vilest terms, and several accounts indicate that he loathed Italians, Frenchmen, and Jews. Like every one of his mixtures, Dunhill's Nightcap is now manufactured by the Danes on behalf of the Germans, which would probably have the old blister spinning in his urn.
Arango is, of course, a Hispanic name.
They deal primarily with Yanks.
We're all of the above.

Mordche, in case you hadn't wigged, is Jewish.
Which is only relevant because of his tobacco.



Dunhill may have been an odious individual and a fornicator, but his pipes weren't bad, and the tobacco he sold was all in all pretty darn good.
The foreigners that make his stuff are doing a damned fine job.



POST SCRIPTUM: This version of spell check doesn't recognize 'colonoscopy' as a valid English word. What's up with that?!?
Kaleidoscope?




TOBACCO INDEX


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1 comment:

Ari said...

Let Dunhill put THAT in his pipe and smoke it. Or, give him a colonoscopy with one. (While lit, preferably.)

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