THE WONDERING WOMB

There are times when the wise man keeps his mouth shut. Remarkably, many of these involve the opposite gender. No, this is NOT about the "blimey would ya look at them cupcakes" type of remark that some men of coarse persuasion might make.
Rather, it's all about the period. The menses. The monthly visitor.
The curse that makes women resent the male.
Who is not thus encumbered.

Almost all women, once every twenty eight days, become convinced that men are bloodless cretins. If they were normal people, or even human, they'd be bent over too, cramping, aching, feverish.
It testifies to their alien origin that they are not.

Women are from Venus. Which is a planet.

Men are from the dark side.

Hades.


As an unattached man, I am able to consider such matters with the proper perspective; it's the single benefit of being a bachelor.

My apartment mate recently "enjoyed" what I fancifully think of as the blessing of being a woman. She opined that her kind should be entitled, by law, to take off twice as many sick days as men. At least.
Because life is unfair, and she would rather curl up.
Than face the office in that condition.

Naturally I agreed. With the codicil that the days which they take off should always be the ones when men are working, because good lord who wants to spend any time in the house with that going on?
Bloated, retaining water, and pants that make you look ......


And at that point I became aware of an aura of menace emanating from the other side of the table in the teevee room, where she lurked behind her own computer, while I cowered behind mine.


Briefly I had these visions of strange divots in my head.

Glad there are no golfclubs in the house.

Or sledgehammers.



AFTER WORD

Most men cringe at any mention of menstrual cramps or other feminine physiological processes that they do not share. It's a conditioned reflex. I'll confess that I am somewhat defective, and have no problem at all discussing the twenty eight day cycle, thickening of the uterine lining, release of ova, subsequent sloughing, and attendant discomfort..
It's a biological miracle, is what.
Profoundly beautiful.

Female biology is a marvelous thing.



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