THE PIMM'S CUP: WHERE, WHEN, AND HOW

In recent years the young and restless (and unbearably precious and special) have demanded that bars fix them mojitos. All over San Francisco bartenders are working their fingers to the bone pressing fresh mint, sugar, and lime wedges, with a muddler, adding ice cubes to the glass, a heavy shot of rum, and filling it up with soda water or other fizzy liquids. The customer will then elegantly lift this concoction to his or her refined lips, sample it, and complain.

"Not as good as at Joe's Bar. The mixologist on Proctolent Cruises makes a better one. Dammit, it supposed to include bitters and seltzer water! Not enough mint, make it mintier, damn you."

"And where's my goddammed maracas!?!"


All in all, it's a nasty and pretentious drink.


MOJITO
Recipe

Two ounces of white rum
Half a lime, cut into thin rounds or wedges
Several fresh mint leaves, and a sprig to garnish
A dash of simple syrup
Ice cubes
Soda water

Use a bar muddler to moosh the mint leaves, lime, and syrup together at the bottom of a lowball glass. Add plenty of ice cubes, pour in the two ounces of rum, and top with a sprits of sodawater. Stick the mint into the drink, hand it to the customer, and charge them a lot for it.
It's made entirely by hand, baby.
We 'curate' our botanicals.
It's artisanal, totally.

Sleight of hand allows for a drop of McCormick's mint extract.

Mooshing some green coloured mint jelly with the leaves and lime might be a nice touch; if you do, cut down on the simple syrup.

[Simple syrup: equal parts cane sugar and water by volume, heated up while stirring till the sugar is entirely dissolved. Let it cool, pour it into a bottle for use in cocktails.]


Real people will order something far simpler. Whisky with a splash; either branch or soda. Or perhaps a glass of sherry, which sensible bar tenders will serve in a champagne flute, so that the wine has room to breathe. This is important, more for the actual taste development of sherry than aroma. Plus it's far less neurotic-looking than traditional sherry glasses.

There is, in fact, only one reason for a bar to stock fresh mint, and it isn't a julep (two ounces Bourbon, a sugar cube and half a dozen mint leaves muddled at the bottom of a tall glass before adding the bourbon and a cube or two of ice). The classic Pimm's cup is always the drink served at regattas and tennis tournaments, though this blogger firmly believes that it would not be out of place at mud-wrestling matches or street craps.


PIMM'S CUP

Invented over a century and a half ago by the proprietor of a London oyster bar, the drink really caught on in the years between the war. The basis is a liqueur made specifically for this beverage; the Pimm's No. 1. Reputedly it is a gin-based decoction. But one suspects that bitters and alcoholic herbal extracts are added in for digestive purposes.

There used to be Pimm's liqueurs all the way from one to six, but the only product everyone ever used was the number one.

The best place to enjoy it is at the Olde Bell in Hurley, England, on a warm day sometime during summer. Stop there for lunch; the food is extraordinary. It's been around a while.
My father went there during the war.


PIMM'S CUP, CLASSIC STYLE
Recipe

Two ounces of Pimm's No. 1
Three thin cross-slices of lemon
Three thin cross-slices of orange
A lengthwise quarter of a cucumber
One small sprig of mint
Ice cubes
Ginger ale (or 7-up)
A squeeze of lime (optional)

Put the lemon and orange slices in a lowball glass, add ice cubes, and stir up with a cocktail spoon to re-distribute the citrus. Pour in the two ounces of liqueur, and top with a spritz of ginger ale.
Stick the cucumber wedge down into the drink, and garnish with the mint.

Some versions add sliced strawberry and apple, which is ridiculous; no self-respecting cocktail lounge has that stuff on hand. Just be glad they have both lemon and orange, and will slice it suitably for this drink.

At Wimbledon, and in pretentious Indian restaurants, it is served in a pewter cup, which is an old-fashioned touch not really suitable for standard bar service.


The Occidental Cigar Club in downtown San Francisco always has a bottle of Pimm's No. 1 on hand, but probably the only person there who knows what it is, is one of the owners, Curtis Post, who tends bar there Wednesday through Friday evening. He makes Pimm's cups without cucumber or mint, simply adding a hefty squeeze of lime juice.
He's a little reserved about complicated drinks.
A traditionalist and a perfect host.
Ask him for it.

He will NOT make a mojito. I haven't asked, but I already know the answer.



Mojitos are for twizzle heads.

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