MONKEYS CURE GOUT

Alas, my readers may have screws loose. My new and recent readers, that is. My regular readers need not worry, as most of the people who discover this site seldom stay very long, and will never even associate with anyone.
Once they've found what they were looking for (which they won't, because it isn't here), they disappear with nary a comment. Were it not for the blog stats betraying them, I wouldn't even know they existed.
And neither will you, given their narrow focus.
They have a bee in their bonnets.
As their searches show.


Today's top searches indicate that the average random visitor here is a sensitive degenerate who is keenly interested in food. More interested in food than his or her chosen perversion, and possibly middle-aged.
Or even elderly. An antique. Mid-fifties, at least.

This blog is all about youthful vibrancy.

No wonder they find nothing.


Their searches:

"Sex on the back of a horse"
Comment: This isn't something that has ever been discussed here, but if you send me pictures and diagrams, I might be able to cobble an essay together. Not that it's one of my fancies, but I'm sure some of my readers will evince aghast fascination. We are an inquisitive and scientific-minded lot, and the mechanics of the matter may prove interesting. Leverage, balance, and the effects of motion, gravity, and a startled animal.
Have you considered station wagons instead?
Horses are SO last century!

"Buses to flower market Mongkok"
Comment: Horses seldom eat flowers.

"Preserve pumpkins with limes and vinegar"
Comment: Why?

"Monkey poorly fitting"
Comment: What?!?

"Mui choy kau yuk recipe"
Comment: Delicious, but likely to give you gout.

"Night sweats with gout"
Comment: Oh I see, you've already discovered that.

"Pumpkin preserve vinegar"
Comment: Again, why?

"Roasted duck in Bowrington Road"
Comment: That may also give you gout, but it's delicious.

"Peking urinary"
Comment: Your gout must be horrible!

"Dim sum dishes Chinese names"
Comment: Did I already mention gout?

"Pipe smoking fetish"
Comment: Along with the monkey and the horse?

"Cantonese women"
Comment: Not likely to give you gout. I'm still not sure about your peculiar fascination with pumpkins, but I'm starting to understand why you need flowers, mui choi kau yuk, roast duck, and dim sum. Stick with the food, and she may think you're a rather interesting fellow.
Despite your perfectly beastly peculiarity.
Do NOT mention the horse!


This blogger has no peculiarities. Reference to any of the above on this blog was merely in passing, as I am a normal person.

I never think of sex or food, and only rarely consider Bowrington Road or pumpkins. I do ponder monkeys, however.


*   *   *   *   *   

Just for the hell of it, I typed "do pumpkins cause gout" into my browser. Spirit of scientific inquiry and all that.

Apparently they don't, being actually sort of beneficial.

They cause monkeys.




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