ALL-AMERICAN HOMOEROTICISM

There were ball games this past weekend. I could not fail to notice. Personally, however, I did not bother paying any attention, as displays of sweaty men in motion do not thrill me. Actually, sweaty people of either gender, especially if spandex is involved, are not appealing.

There were large screen televisions at three of the locales that this blogger frequented on Saturday and Sunday. At two of those places, insane hooting and wild gesticulation occurred. At one of those two, both 'F-bombs' and chocolate chip cookies were dropped.

I like chocolate chip cookies. There is absolutely NO homoeroticism involved with chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate chip cookies are a mighty fine thing, we can all agree to that.

Mmmmmm, chocolate......

If I have to see anything involving large Neanderthals wearing shiny spandex and arse-hugging tights, I would far far rather watch them engaged in tender loving appreciation of chocolate chip cookies.
Wide screen teevee, close up of some college-age thug masticating baked goods in slow motion, eyes dreamily half-closed........
Meaty lips slackly glistening.....



One the other hand, if I can get my hands on a bushel of ghost chilies, I've got a great plan for a new competitive candy item: toffee-coated bhut jolokia. Sugar, at the hard crack stage (146° to 154° Celsius), with a touch of anethole (thirteen times sweeter than sucrose), and a hint of refreshing mint, surrounding one of the hottest peppers in the world.
At first you taste only sweetness. Then your mouth starts burning.
The menthol both adds to the effect and soothes the membranes.
You must have more; you grab a handful.


So good! So hot. So good! So hot. So good! so hot. So good!


Then you organize contests: which hefty meatball or frat-boy can eat the most of these? It's the nutritious snack of champions. Spectators must be behind bullet-proof glass during the show.

And positively no beer is allowed

Yes, I might pay to watch.

Voluntary self-abuse.

It's American.




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