THE COMPLETE INTERNET FETISHIST

Occasionally I check out the stats for this blog to find out how many people cruised on in, and what they were looking for.
My readers (including you) are a fascinating lot.

You'll be pleased to know that the Pakistanis haven't discovered me yet - they lead the world in Google searches for "child sex", "animal sex", and "rape sex", so it should be quite a while before they come here. None of those categories of typical Pakistani sexuality are featured much on this blog.
Except in passing, primarily to sneer at Pakistanis.


What are my readers looking for instead?


Drucquer & sons tobacconist
This search I can well understand. I worked at Drucquers for a few years, and like many pipesmokers I keenly wish it had not faded from sight. The famous mixtures that this store produced are no longer made, alas. But those who remember blends such as Trafalgar or Red Lion with fondness will no doubt have already discovered Greg Pease, who since leaving Drucquers went into the tobacco business for himself, and has compounded some absolutely fabulous stuff.

Balkan Sobranie
Another search-criterium that has my sympathy. And like Drucquers, Sobranie is no more. Some people are paying extraordinary prices for unopened tins, three hundred dollars and up. Which is rather ridiculous.
I still have over a dozen tins, and I'm not selling. Sorry.

Frilly panties
A cute posterior attractively packaged in frilly panties may well be one of the finer things in life. But you will find no pictures on this blog, nor excessively tactile descriptions. Again, sorry.
I encourage you to find or feel your own.

Geert wilders
This must be a newly popular sexual fetish. Frankly, I am rather appalled, but I realize that most people cruise the internet looking for Balkan Sobranie, kittens, and Japanese porn. To the best of my knowledge, there is no Japanese porn featuring Geert Wilders. Yet.

Black lace garter belt
Like the aforementioned 'Frilly Panties', one of the finer things in life. At some point I may acquire one of these myself, but I would much rather meet a person who wears one.

Pipe smoking ladies
Probably the sweetest fantasy that anyone can have. No, it's not sexual. Charming young women should smoke pipes. Cigarettes are for sailors, snuff is for coots.

Little virgins
This too is wonderful, especially if you're a Dutchman. Cover 'em with chopped onion. Even many non-Dutch love little virgins, although the Germans tend to pickle them in a vinegar solution, and other people drench them with cream or capers.
I do not know anyone who isn't fond of matjes herring.



You will note that this post is both self-serving and YOU serving.
I got to post links to some of my most popular articles (thus boosting them in internet searches), and you now have a handy list of everything you've always wanted. Enjoy.

Sorry, Pakistanis, nothing here for you.
But do please keep checking.
Regularly.


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