At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, December 26, 2010


It turns out that today I am not alone in the office.
Those of you who tuned in to yesterday's exciting episode of 'Life of Toad' will have learned that I am hiding out at my desk in the accounting department much more often these days, due to the complete collapse of a twenty-one year affair with a wonderful woman who is now just a roommate, and you will consequently understand that the umpty-umpth floor of a building in the financial district of San Francisco is a logical place for me to be during Christmas weekend.

But today I am not the only person here.

No, there is NO petite and screamingly intelligent Cantonese-American female college student with bright eyes and small hands keeping me company. If you actually thought that, your rich fantasies and my desperate wishful-thinking overlap remarkably, and we both need counseling.

Or we need to finally meet in real life.
Call me!

Instead, the tech-support department is here. I can hear their dulcet voices from several aisles away, happily discussing where to shove those batteries.
And what to do with the extra screws.

The bastards ate MY cookies!!!

I was counting on having some stale cookies as a 'breakfast - lunch - teatime snack', to follow yesterday's 'breakfast - lunch - teatime - festive Christmas dinner' of stale cookies.
Stale cookies are the perfect holiday paradigm this year.
But they're gone. All gone. Every single one of them. Not even a crumb left.
Greedy pigs.

Tech Support also had a picnic in the brand new office kitchen!
It smells richly treifish in there, I can see the remains of a pack of prosciutto, pancetta, salame of some kind, a rolled sandwich meat rich with chunks of lard, cheeses (dairy with meat? Feh!), mustard, mayo .......
There's a loaf of bread and a jar of pickles there too.

No wonder their voices are dulcet - they're remarkably well-fed!
I'm surprised I don't hear them belching.
They devoured the stale cookies for dessert, the intemperate sadists!
Stuffed and insatiable!

The OPS department will be SO pissed off tomorrow to discover all the stale cookies gone.
Along with the petro-cheese spread, the dry pepper crackers, and the blue-cheese pretzel niblets, those stale cookies were a seasonal gift to OPS from a rep-group keen to keep our business.
I wouldn't be surprised if OPS was planning to snack upon the stale cookies tomorrow.

I'll just have to let them know that Tech Support ATE them all.

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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.



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