At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


One day a week is bagel day. It is not that we absolutely require bagels, it is that eating a bagel reconnects us with our souls. We are San Francisco office drudges, we eat the bagel.

It pacifies us. We have such small lives.


Recently the company moved from one side of the building to the other. A new office kitchen had to be built, and painted, and swept, and finally connected to water and light. It is done now. It is sparkling and clean. Shiny.
It is very nice.

Unfortunately our bagel toaster was dirty. So it didn't get moved over.
Dirty things are a pain - who would possibly want them in our NEW kitchen?

The bread knives are old. They are NOT beautiful. They are merely sharp and functional.
Who on earth would want them in our new kitchen?

I shall not mention the microwave. It is not important in the bagel context.

Suffice to say that it too was ... wrong.
We have only nice elegant clean things in our new kitchen.

Coffee maker, blender, forks? No.

Some of us stroll over to the 'rebuild-zone' (our old office kitchen) and reclaim whatever we think necessary for civilized life. Slowly we are reconstructing the necessary frameworks.

This distresses the person placed in charge of the kitchen. Our new kitchen is starting to look far too much like the old kitchen.
He would rather that people would NOT remember that they once used certain things. Old things. Dirty things. Things that work.
A kitchen should be a temple to elegance, and cleanness.
Sparkly. Shiny.

Not functional.

This explains why there are four HERBAL teas, and utterly NO coffee in the new kitchen.
Decaffeination has 'cleanth', and 'elegacity'.
Being wide awake is messy, NOT pure and luminous!

For several years, there have been private stashes of coffee and real tea at most desks. Office drudgery require stimulation.
I have two giant boxes of teabags, and a supply of coffee fixings.
Others have their own hoards too.

This distresses the person placed in charge of the kitchen.
Such things belong in kitchen cabinets, not at desks!
The office environment should be smooth and elegant and professional!

Just like the kitchen.

This morning I reclaimed the bagel toaster.
As well as all the sharp sharp knives.

If he squawks, I will threaten him with my stuffed armadillo.
Dirty Pooky.

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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.



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