Wednesday, January 17, 2018

HEY GUYS! ALTOGETHER! THE SHEEP!

This blogger is not 'English-monolingual'. Besides English, I also speak and read Dutch and other languages. Which does not mean that I am more intelligent than you, but that my access to other data is a little larger, so consequently I sometimes have a slightly broader perspective on affairs of the world. Because, as has probably already been rubbed in, those canny Netherlanders know everything that is worth knowing and have strong opinions about all of it. Which they will put on the internet.
Please pay attention. At great length.

As is I frequently do, I visited Dutch newspaper sites today.


Two items which Americans really must know.

1. Hawaiians watch porn. Specifically, after the recent missile scare they massively went onto their computers to view smutty business, causing a spike of nearly fifty percent shortly after nine in the morning on the Pornohub site.
It had earlier dropped 77%, because when you are about to snuff it your first thoughts naturally are to quickly shove the kids in the sewer and the cats into a closet, then to consider whether you want to perish next to your smelly brats or pissed-off pets.

[SOURCE: Hawaï kijkt massaal porno na ’vals alarm’ - De Telegraaf.]


2. Young Chinese adults on the mainland are sniffing their cats. The article on the Telegraaf website claimed that this is popular in a particular city named Zhihu, but it turns out that the Zhihu they referenced was actually a popular website named Zhihu (知乎 'ji wu'), and that modern China massively loves felines.
Which is normal. The sniffing part is a bit queer, though.

[SOURCES: Nieuwe rage Chinese jeugd: aan katten ruiken and Across China: China's youth obsessed by cat sniffing - Xinhuanet. See also: Wikipedia.]


All of this makes complete sense.


The world relies on the internet for sex, cats, and Steve Bannon.
At least one of those three, obsessively all the time.
Until the internet I didn't know about them.
Now I can't tear my eyes away.



EVERYBODY LIKES SHEEP

As a lagniappe, I mention that the karaoke machine at the dive in C'town to which per weekly custom the bookseller and myself went last night was on auto-pilot, and that all the most popular tunes came up. The Hong Kong guy singing about love in a fish tank, the twins with red hair, the choreographic Chinese answer to Lady Gaga, and the soulful love and travel song which starts on a trainstation platform when she asks him if he can actually play the guitar in that case he has next to him.

The sheep song also played.


大家一起喜羊羊!


[SOURCE: 周笔畅(笔笔)《大家一起喜羊羊》.]


The title (大家一起喜羊羊 "Dàjiā yì qǐ xǐyángyáng") is google-translated as "hey everyone with sheep". I am sorry, I cannot do any better than that.
It's perfect as is.


Hey everyone with sheep!




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