Several things recently in my in-box. With which, naturally, the rational man MUST disagree. Which for the record I now shall do here.
The rational man is tolerant, up to a point.
And short tempered.
1. Underneath one (1) of several recent essays: "Donald Trump will SAVE America!!"
[Comment not published.]
You can't 'save it' and 'break it' at the same time.
It isn't a hymen. Idiot.
2. Underneath START HOARDING SRIRACHA: "Sriracha is NOT a vegetable."
[Comment not published.]
Is too. Idiot.
3. Underneath HOBBIT'S WEED: "Why did you skunk Hobbit's Weed? It's better than what you smoke, assh*le."
[Comment not published.]
No it isn't. It's crud. Disgusting degeneracy in the shred. Crap that smells like a Parisian whorehouse. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, needs to pong so ferociously. Not even your pickled aunt. Get rid of your LOTR gang tattoos and Gandalf-pipe, stop drinking candy coffee, and get a job.
Aspire to move out of your mom's basement. Idiot.
4. Underneath EASILY STEPPED UPON: "Chihuahas are really smart. Dick."
[Comment published.]
Dick, you misspelled 'rat'. Idiot.
5. Underneath AW, THAT'S SWEET!: "Your a f*cking kiek."
[Comment published.]
You are a f*cking twat. Idiot.
6. Underneath SEA SHEPHERD PIRATES: "The Japs are disgusting!"
[Comment not published.]
Whale steak is delicious. Idiot.
7. Underneath OH AUNTIE, YOU ARE SO REFINED!: "Why do you persist in glorifying that awful habit? Don't you realize that tobacco is worng?"
[Comment not published.]
You have a low 'worng' threshold. Idiot.
Please imagine that a man started seeing a blonde bombshell, just for a bit of nooky, he hasn't had any in so long, and after several riotous weeks he starts noticing little things. Things like spelling errors, sheer gut-wrenching idiocy, and a remarkable ignorance. She might even be religious, and have voted for all the wrong causes, good lord! A baggage! But he's already committed, the marriage is scheduled in June; he's made a horrible mistake, he must live with the consequences of his actions, he will spend the next several years cursed, till she snuffs it in a car accident.
Or, if he breaks up now, it will be messy.
A long drawn out trainwreck.
Some acquaintanceship is not worth having. No matter the temptation. There are people out there on the internet one would rather not know any further. Even if, hypothetically, one were starved for attention.
In the past I enjoyed quarreling with that sort.
Now all I want is to have readers who come across as quirky brilliant young women, elderly rabbis, or peculiarly insightful.
There are several, but I want more.
Peculiarly insightful.
You know who you are.
BY THE WAY: this blogger has never dated a blonde moron. I've seen what happens when you fall for that. The results are ghastly, and too horrid to contemplate. Instead I would very much prefer a quirky brilliant young woman possessed of peculiar insight rather like an elderly rabbi.
If you know someone like that, direct them here.
I am keen to make their acquaintance.
I swear I won't bite.
Comments welcome.
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