BLONDES DON'T BOTTLE UP

Not entirely sure why she does it, but the apartment mate watches bitchy women shows on television. She calls it "life-styles of the small-souled".
It's arguably about female empowerment. And white folks sex.
The golden haired individuals headed to Montauk.
Not sure where the heck that is.
I could look it up.


"I haven't had a birthday trip in like two years!"


They are no stranger to recreational vehicles, these twenty-somethings. Oh em gee. And they will not stop for cosmetic damage. Montauk is, like, the perfect place for them to, like, get away. Give them the veranda.
Stop bitching. And don't bottle, like, anything up.

I am resolved to never go to Montauk.

Snapchat and ocean-front view.

What IS this show?


Because of what went on in this episode, the apartment mate is now aware of jock straps, crotch rot, man smells, award-winning vodka, and "weird bacteria fermenting". Plus hip collective inebriation.
Not sure that this is a win-win.

She's learning way too much about Caucasians.
And big white person cleavage.
Oh dear.

There will be consequences.




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