Sunday, April 26, 2015

YAHOO PARENTING: BREASTS, LOBSTER POUNDING, BREASTS, GIGGLING DAEMONS, BREASTS, DOGS

A friend informs me and his other Facebook friends that an Arizona chap objected in writing to a giggling and otherwise expressively happy toddler in his neighbor's back yard. The article mentioning the incident is easily found, so no need to link it. In essence, the obsessive-compulsive noodge neighbor was concerned that his two high-strung hounds and a bird would not deal with this situation, and freak-out. Bad parent!
They suffered, he opined, and that was unacceptable.
He threatened to call the cops on the kid.
Unless this behaviour stopped.
Childish joy.

I may not have re-acted well when I suggested "shoot the damned dogs; they're nuts."

Seriously. If your dogs go batshit when exposed to children, they need to be put down. I don't care that they aren't even vicious dog-fight Dobies. Chihuahuas? They do not belong anywhere near a child.
Nor even a non-football halfback or pro-wrestler.
They don't belong anywhere.
Period.


BREASTS: THERE ARE TWO! OR MORE!

From a similar source comes news of airline employees reacting badly to moms breastfeeding their infants while on board. Apparently, even if the tits are covered up, and the mother and child are skulking discretely in a back seat turned away from the aisle, some people will be shocked, horrified, disgusted, and profoundly disturbed.

The very idea of breast not covered by a layer of tarpaulin, ugh!

Those people do not need to be around other humans.
Dump out of the plane, Do it in mid-air.
Along with the dicky stews.

Save the breasts.


"Shoot the damned dogs; they're nuts."


In the same vein, a lobster restaurant on the East-Coast banned screaming children, and got one hell of a backlash from offended customers, who wished to bring their horrendous brats to dinner.

Personally, I cannot think of a greater potential disaster than arming some of those ADD monsters with lobster mallets and claw crackers and unleashing them on crustaceans and the dining public.

It's a sinful waste of lobster, is what that is.
I would pay to watch it, though.
Victor gets boiled.


I now have an idea for a brilliant new weekly television show that will revolutionize entertainment television. It includes breasts, loud infants, dobermans, more breasts, mayonnaise, lobsters, and seafood Cobb salad. Plus more breasts. Breasts are always good clean fun.

Reality teevee meets zom-bitch apocalypse.
Culinary competitiveness.
Breasts.


Filmed on an airplane.



In other news, variations on Sophia and Olivia are extremely popular girls' names in the English-speaking world, along with Holland, Brazil, Italy, Denmark, France, Germany, Argentina, and Scotland.
I do not know why I now now this.
Or why it's even useful info.
Thank you, Yahoo.
Shut up.




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