Tuesday, April 07, 2015


One of the cigar smokers I know did a very Christian thing this past Easter weekend. I mention this ONLY because I spent all day today surrounded by cigar smokers, many of them in a frenzy akin to sharks or piranhas when you throw a couple of pounds of recently deceased cow into the swimming pool. All of a sudden your little kids get out of the water in a hurry.
No one wants to be near vicious fish having an orgy.
They are wise beyond their years.
Good genetic stock.


I was quietly smoking my pipe when a party came in -- two guys and one girl -- of whom only the cigar smokers were known to me. And, to the best of my knowledge, neither of them were romantically involved.

As it turned out, the third person wasn't either.

Her boyfriend had dumped her that morning.

The bald-headed cigar aficionado, once he finally started reading his text messages, kindly rushed to lend an ear. She had been drinking away her sorrows for several hours by that time, and she continued to drink. She was no longer showing any talent for erection by the time the three of them came in. Brilliant slumping, though.

Her affair had been the romance of the century, the break-up was a tragedy of epic proportions. She loved the man who had left her!
He was over six feet tall (extremely important detail!), had the biggest endowment she had ever seen (extremely important detail!), and she only got to bang him three times! She had hungrily hoped to abuse his fine elongated form for several more months.
Or till she had crippled him.

There are times when I cannot understand women.

This was one of those times.

Fortunately the bald smoker decided to take her home, lest she imbibe even more. The non-bald smoker and I watched as they got into his car, and speculated that the upholstery would soon need cleaning. When the bald smoker came back ten minutes later, we were proved wrong.
If you ask me, that's an Easter miracle right there.

Untypically, I smoked two cigars this afternoon. I thoroughly approve of the Camacho Connecticut wrapper robusto.
It is a superior smoke.

Some cigar smokers are far more gallant than I could possibly be.
I doubt that I could lend an ear to a drunken sex-fiend.
Being that "understanding" is a gift.
I just don't have it.

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