YEAR YEAR, FISH!

You will be glad to know that walrusses do not eat penguins. After reading Bloom County, and sympathizing with Opus the Penguin and his fear or dislike of walrusses, which cropped up often, you worried about it. But penguins are antarctic, and walrusses are far north. The two species do not come in contact with each other except perhaps on social media.
You must conclude from this that penguins are neurotic.
Little smelly herring-snarfing nutballs.

No, they are NOT Dutchmen.
Don't even think it.

Sadly, herring is not part of the Chinese festive spread to close out the year with family and friends. Reason being that unlike Dutch people and Dutch Americans, Chinese people do not recognize any auspicious connotations to the herring. We Netherlanders used it to conquer vast territories and fuel our imperialist expansions, Chinese folk look at it and go "hah, fish, huh", and think no more about it.

As a Dutchman, this makes me sad.

Happy too, because there really isn't enough for everybody, and I would like to blow all the other Euries out of the water on this matter, sink their fishing boats and factory ships and hang the crews, because herring stocks are seriously depleted due to competition from those hosebags muscling in on what should be rightfully ours in our traditional fishing grounds (the entire North Sea, and the Atlantic up to the territorial water limits of Canada and the United States), and it's quite unfair. So it's a darn good thing that other than my apartment mate, the Chinese have not developed a fondness for herring. She's Cantonese, and they are known for peculiarities. Fortunately the rest of them don't know about herring yet.

This illustration does not represent a Dutchman gaily disporting himself with tridents or other pescatory equipment near a barrel for packing fish, but a seal script version of the character for Spring, of which this is the first day in the Chinese calendar. Happy New Year.

Last night families all over the city sat down to a feast to close out the year. This morning they put on new clothes and exchanged cheerful greetings to start the year off right. There is, of course, more to eat. Little snacky things that are traditional. Red envelopes with money were given to the younger members of the family. They may be smiling so much (to keep everything positive) that rictus is developing. The self control needed to avoid saying something snarky and so wreck the first day of the Spring Festival is immense!
Say nice things! Think nice things! Be nice! Dammit!


Anyhow, happy New Year, and please stay away from herring. You won't like it. Trust me.
It's kind of fishy. 年年有魚。



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