Sunday, January 30, 2022

SNOWFORBROKE

As now happens every year, the people on the East Coast have invented a new special ops superlative term for their winter weather, which is the worst ever, snowmygerd, and how can you not feel for people being miserable in the most important part of the entire country! Some of us are over that. Y'all got snow, we get it. You've never had so much snow, we get that too. Your vodka martinis are frozen, the bagels are like rocks, the Hamptons are cut off.
Long Island is gone, and the greasy pizza y'all love is soggy and cold.
Will the suffering never stop?
Never has the world seen such a snow. That is to say: "the civilized world".
Maybe Africa has, who knows, nobody we know goes there.
Why doesn't somebody do something?
This is intolerable!


And in Florida, school has been cancelled because of falling iguanas. Your back porch is covered with them, we saw the pictures you posted on Facebook. They've wrecked your pipes and your car port. You had to scrape them off your windshield. Poor babies!


Just call an Uber, ya bunch of sissies.


Y'all got snow. We get it.



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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We got perhaps 12 to 18 inches of snow in central Massachusetts, which really does not impress the natives as much as it does the media and iguanas in Florida.

M

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