I'M SHOCKED, SHOCKED I TELL YOU

A line in an article in the local news page (SFGate) makes me feel impossibly old. "In the days before Tinder and Bumble, people met each other in bars." Of course it's about a drinking establishment that I had never even heard of, Delirium, in the Mission District, and would not have gone to if I had. Because even if I'm NOT older than Jayzus, I'm not "hip".
Haven't ever been hip, at any age.
Neither are my drinks.

WHISKY AND WATER

None of my bar visits in the past have ever yielded a relationship with a person of the opposite and appropiate gender. That was not their goal, and I've not understood how intoxication could, for other people, yield lasting connections (of sometimes up to the average time when divorces will take place).

Quite likely it was because they had ordered mixed drinks. For some people, that's exciting, no qualifiers. For me the mixed drink was a rare experiment in perversion, kind of like eating a greaseburger or gordito for lunch. Mmm, delicious! Let us not speak of this again.


"In the days before Tinder and Bumble, people met each other in bars."


I shall pretend that Tinder and Bumble are the equivalent of the church social or the carefully adult supervised sock-hop. Somewhat more exciting than a tea dance.

My relationships started at school, at a tobacconist, at a wedding, and at a candy store.
Only one of those was with a recreational drinker. It was exciting, and unbalanced.
And no, I do not regret any of them. They were nice people.


My drink of choice, if I still indulged, would be whisky and water. Medical reasons make abstaining advisable. Which is fine. Tea suits me as well, and I do not miss bar crowds.


A couple I used to know, till about five years ago, drank together often.
They were nice, but fundamentally boring people.



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