WHEN YOU ARE TRULY ALONE

This morning I spent an hour and fifteen minutes in the bathroom, with soap, water, a razor, plus coffee and a cigar. Seeing as on a day where she and I have off, it is the only place in the apartment where I can smoke.
A middle-aged Dutch-American goobus needs a smoking room.
And the temple of ablutories is perfect.
Flushing, ventilation.
Privacy.

As I stepped out of the shower, naked and glowing, I muttered to myself.
And realized that what I said was unintelligible.
To almost every one else.


"Je suis gonjeng. Bahut, bahut gonjeng."


Well, okay. Because when you talk to yourself you are still careful that what you say may be overheard. In very few instances one is truly guaranteed of absent ears, and, just suppose, you were walking down the street presuming no one was nearby, and you muttered in clear and distinct English "do you think Trump has nasty infected areas on his ballsack?" Because of course with his sexual proclivities and lack of morals, infection is not only likely, but considering his decades of dick behaviour, darned well guaranteed. First STD in probably in prep school. Half of the Republican Party in Congress had the clap by college in any case, and sometimes it wasn't treated for years. Several people named Bob still have it.

With bad luck, there's a Republican behind you.
Who considers the remark actionable.

"Benghazi, bitch!"

Republicans. Syph eats at the brain, so they just can't stop mentioning Benghazi. Simple thoughts for monodimensional minds. Benghazi.

That possibility means that even when you talk to yourself, you might phrase things in circles. The completely private post-wash muttering included three tongues, one and a half grammars.



And this, of course, explains why I was trying to get a dekista at three in the morning years ago. Plus other locutions.



POST SCRIPTUM

If any Republicans reading this were, inadvertently, offended, please accept my sincerest apologies. So many, many polysyllabic words!

Just think about Benghazi for a few moments.
You'll be warm all over!
Or wet.




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