As naturally would anyone at around four in the morning, if they woke up after a five and half hour nap and it was too cold outside to go out with a pipe for the last smoke of the day, I ended up reading about the tupinambis. That being a large lizard which is "highly intelligent, becoming docile as it matures and even ignoring food in favor of social interaction". A description that matches some humans, this blogger included.
But refers to a reptile.
Important:
"Tupinambis hibernates in groups." That isn't me. Most humans smell bad.
"Males display large jowls along the lower jaw". Also no.
"Due to their fruit eating habit, they serve an important ecological function by dispersing seeds through their droppings."
I am sure that if I were running around naked in the forest this would be one hundred percent correct, but at present I live in a city.
"Metabolic changes occur during the reproductive season, when body temperature increases up to 10 degrees and is sustained internally."
This datum I have not observed in myself.
"Omnivorous -- fruit, fungi, various arthropods, small vertebrates, carrion, and eggs. The amount of meat decreases as the beast matures."
That is only somewhat accurate.
Further details:
"They are less well-adapted for climbing into tree canopies or for swimming"
"A bite from an adult specimen can crush human fingers"
"They can run on their hind legs"
All true.
They make rewarding, if somewhat exasperating pets.
They are very striking creatures.
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