HONG KONG MILK TEA -- PULL IT THROUGH YOUR PANTYHOSE

There are three places where I shall never ever go again, because what they advertised as Hong Kong Milk Tea was unapologetically nowhere near the real thing. Which, given that every time my interaction with the people working there was entirely in Cantonese, they should have realized was a bad show.
A white person speaking Cantonese might know things.
Like when you're faking it through your teeth.


港式奶茶

Hong Kong Milk Tea ('gong sik naai cha') is actually quite simple. As with many things, details matter.

Use a hefty measure of dark tea leaves, preferable Ceylon (斯里蘭卡 'si lei laan kaa'; 錫蘭 'sek laan') post-season picks (季後茶葉 'gwai hau chaa yip'), to which some Pu Erh (普洱茶 'pou nei chaa') and maybe also lychee black tea (荔枝紅茶 'lai ji hong chaa') might be added for depth and aroma, or, exceptionally, a miniscule quantity of rose tea (玫瑰紅茶 'mui gwai hong chaa'). Bring it to a boil, then simmer for fifteen to twenty minutes.

[Post season: picked after the rainy season (雨季 'yü gwai').]

After this strain it four or five times through a silk stocking (絲襪 'si mat'), which gives it the right mouth-feel, and put it on a low hot plate to keep it warm till needed.


The type of drinking vessel used is not so important, it could be a thick glass, or a ceramic teacup or coffee mug. But in all cases, the amount of condensed milk (煉奶 'lin naai') should be between one fifth to one third of the volume, depending on how sweet you want it. Let's say a quarter.
Add the dark hot brew to the milk, stir to mix.
Simple.

The end result will be dense, fragrant, and smooth (香香滑滑 'heung-heung gwat-gwat').



NOTE: It isn't really a silk stocking, but a cloth tea strainer bag (絲襪茶袋 'si mat chaa toi'), often a foot long and narrower at the bottom than at the top where the wire loop and handle are. Fine mesh, thoroughly cleaned every three days because the tea-leaf particles tend to clog it. A good tea place will sew a new one every month or so, using medium density cotton fabric, rather than purchasing the ready made ones.


FURTHER NOTE: When you don't actually have real Hong Kong Milk Tea, fercrapsakes say so. Perhaps you ran out, or maybe you haven't a clue what we're talking about. Don't fake it with steaming milk and a clump of insta-tea, or mixing dregs with milk-powder, or even combining Horlicks, some watery cappucino, and a teabag. Neither of those two places on Grant will ever see me again, and I am happy to see that there is a commercial space for rent sign in the window of that rude oaf around the corner.

Oh, and please don't act like the request is an imposition.
You list 'Hong Kong Milk Tea' on your board.
And I paid for real milk tea.



There's one bakery I no longer visit, because since they changed hands, the excuse for milk tea is worse than ever before, the selection of baked goods is far smaller than in the past, and the regulars have all left.
But mostly, it's because of their milk tea.
Echt akelig, luitjes.




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