At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013


Over the past several years one group of readers of this blog has remained constant, though, one suspects, permanently in a state of flux. They are ever present, though they never leave comments, and do not show their "appreciation".

I'm not sure "appreciation" is the right word.
Possibly "frustration" is a lot closer.

They are the pervert mass.

A contingent of desperate men from every continent, who have taken the truism to heart that the internet exists for only THREE things: kitten pictures, food, and smut.

All search criteria, in the end, end up finding nudity.

Though not on this blog. I know how to paste pictures and video clips, but, being a firm believer in the latent talent for filth of all mankind, I see NO reason to further it along by posting prawns.
Just imagine it, boys, and start sweating.

There are two posts on this blog that must be infinitely disappointing to degenerates. Though well-adjusted normal people may very well enjoy them keenly.

First in that category is a post captioned with the very criterium that pulled the sickos in: 'Naked Schoolgirl'. In it, a warm day is described, with a somewhat Bengali theme. Ghee is mentioned, along with several stars of Bonglo cuisine, and a poet. This in the context of imagining a young lady reading a book in private while eating chocolate cake.
All very high culture.

The second one, in the same category as the first, is speculation about the mercantile effect of a bit of casual nudity in advertisements. My thesis was that showing a beautiful woman in a state of déshabillée furthered the desirability of whatever product was thus busked.
'Portrait of a Naked Schoolgirl on a bed of Tobacco'.
Again, pictures were postulated but not pasted; there is nothing there to excite the fevered eye. The power of suggestion is posed, and I aver that I myself -- an utterly clean-living man of abstemious and sober habit -- would be moved to purchase huge quantities of merchandise,
if these were shown juxtaposed with classic beauty.
Butter, Station Wagons, Kitchen Tissue, Soap.
And tobacco. Lots of tobacco.


To this day, both of those posts pull in internet-O-nauts from all corners of the Globe. One can only imagine what cookies are saved on their computers; the machines at late night WiFi cafes must be rank with foul vibrations from their fecund minds. Many of them are probably Pakistani, as porn-surfing seems to be what ninety percent of the male population in that place prefers.
Judging by figures published recently.

Somewhat unkindly of me, I enjoy their imagined frustration. Surely it cannot be satisfying to have their expectations dashed by my false advertising. Which was deliberate.


The idea of certain things is often better than the actuality, and in my own mind's eye the images glow more gloriously than ever they could in reality. The power of suggestion is often a personal and very private obsession.

"The petite academician disrobed, and slowly, languorously, smeared a thick coating of butter on her hot toast. It melted, melted, running in rivulets over her elegant fingers. With fevered passion she pulled at the kitchen tissues, ripping them off the roll. Where was the soap?!?
She frantically jumped out of her lover's station wagon."

About the only thing missing is Hello Kitty.
No-one searches for Hello Kitty.
That would be sick.

[One search in the last twenty fours that found my blog is unique: "Bengali middles aged naked". While I am gratified -- if that is the right word -- that someone looking for 'Bengali middles aged naked' found my blog and consequently read some of my wit and wisdom, I got nuttin'. Not a scratch on the ground nor whisp on the horizon regarding 'Bengali middles aged naked'. Zip diddly. I have never written about 'Bengali middles aged naked', and wouldn't know where to start. Nor have I ever seen any 'Bengali middles aged naked'.
It isn't part of my life.
Not yet.]


While writing this, I am listening to some very nice bagpipe music from Hong Kong. No, there is no reason for you to know what search-criteria ended up finding it. It was totally innocent, safe for work, and absolutely did not contain the words 'short plaid skirts', 'golden skin', or 'heathen melodies'. We live in a wonderful world.
All internet searches ALSO end up at youtube.
It's the nature of the beast.

Go on. Click this link: Pervert Taunting.
You know you want to.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.



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