At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, August 04, 2013


According to the BBC, "the makers of a casual sex matchmaking app called Bang With Friends are facing legal action over its name from games studio Zynga."

Of course that caught my eye. What did you expect?
"The app, which launched in January, alerts Facebook friends who express mutual interest in a sexual encounter."


This blogger believes that banging should always be accompanied by deep and enduring feelings of friendship. But by no means applied to all friendships, just one of them. If the person with whom the banging occurs is NOT a friend, the question may well arise why you are seeing him or her, and are your priorities screwed on straight?

Generally speaking, my advice to the novice and the beginner is "only bang someone of whom you are very fond".
Think of it as intellectual nourishment for the young.
And me as the wise tribal elder.

Old-fashioned, I know. Much more banging goes on nowadays than meets the eye. Hollywood celebrities are bad role models in that regard, as they will bang damned near anybody.
Pizza, beer, and Mulholland Drive.

I'm fairly certain that I cannot get behind arranging bang-dates on Facebook, however. Yes, I'm very fond of all my FB buddies, but banging is not part of the paradigm.

Honestly, I have not considered banging any one of them.
They are doubtlessly relieved about that.

I've got strong opinions about banging in any case. I believe that it's a jolly nice activity for both participants, and given that there are eight billion other humans on this planet, I am not the first to think so. But those eight billion include an awful lot of ambulating evidence that there has been far too much casual and badly considered banging going on. Banging should be more thoughtful, and only take place between two people who have each carefully gauged the other person's suitability as bang-material. Is he or she a decent person? Sane? Likeable on more than just a physical level? Will the first bang be appropriate? Will it be a happy thing to do? Will it lead to more banging? Can there be enduring mutual enthusiasm?

Can I put up with his or her peculiarities?
Will there be pizza before or after?

Crucially: Do I know enough about the prospective willing participant to trust him or her naked in my home?

The questions about pizza and trust eliminate almost all of everyone's FB friends. At least I think they do. No offense to everyone I know on Facebook, but I would rather not have them wandering around my apartment eating pizza in the nude.

I am extremely open to the concept of banging.
But Facebook profiles play no role in that.
Kitten pictures, cartoons, and causes.
This cannot be the basis of a bang.

So, new advice to novices and beginners, reformulated for the age we live in: only bang someone who isn't a Hollywood celebrity, is not into kitten pictures, has all their marbles, is a decent person, and of whom you are very fond, despite their wrongheadedness about pizza.
A real person, and also a real-world bang.
Do not talk about it when you do.
And please don't "share".

As an afterthought, I'm not at all sure how pizza fits into all this. But for many people, apparently, it is a rather important consideration.
So I threw it in as an encouraging element that creates a note of familiarity and camaraderie. An ice-breaker, so to speak.
Plus I thought you might be hungry.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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