At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

A VERY SERVICEABLE ANIMAL

Badgers have short powerful legs for digging, which comes in handy when they're constructing a 'sett', that being a residence of several long connected tunnels and chambers, often underneath a hillock or hill-side. Digging, of course, is also useful when finding food.
Badgers are in the main carnivorous, and in some areas subsist largely on rabbits, which infest the same terrain.
Nobody misses the rabbits.

Sometimes badgers become tipsy after consuming fermenting fruit.

The Asiatic 'Stink Badger' ("panglurok") is nocturnal, and feeds on fish and crabs. Which are best prepared with melted butter.
Butter is hard to find over there.
The Panglurok is bereft.
We think.

Like crabs, rabbits are also excellent, if prepared with butter. Braised, with a bit of garlic and ginger, and then slow-simmered in sherry till surpassingly tender and delicious. Add a touch of cream to finish.

While on the bus the other day I was thinking of the badger diet after a passenger, surmising that the slow dense traffic was frustrating the bus driver, brought his pet rabbit up to the front and insisted that the driver pet it to relieve tension.


"Go on, pet it."

"No no, I cannot have this distraction, please step behind the yellow line."

"It will calm you down, you really must pet it!"

"Please! Step behind the yellow line, sir!"


"Pet the rabbit, dammit!"


Only in San Francisco.

It was a fluffy white rabbit. It looked terrified. Like me, the bus driver was probably also mentally reviewing various rabbit recipes at that moment.
If rabbits have any intelligence at all, it is probably only to telepathically feel the hunger of other animals, especially those who love to cook.

Somewhere in South-East Asia, a family of stinkbadgers (panglurok) are considering an extended vacation in temperate zones where there are lots of rabbits, and where butter is more often available than in Palawan, Kubotanggi, or Kalimantan.
They wish to know if you would rent out your sett to them for several months, while you are off in the tropics feasting on crab.

They promise they will leave it spic and span. You won't even notice that they were there when you return. The pile of bones out back will be nicely covered with fallen leaves.

And they won't touch your fermenting fruit.
They know it's very precious to you.
The rabbits will be gone.












If you're interested, let me know.



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1 Comments:

  • At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Apparently, amongst the sanity challenged in the Bay area, rabbits have become service animals and accompany their owners every where. Including this poor bun, dragged to a jazz concert given by an anti-Semitic saxophonist and forced to dance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMjXIyZo7HQ

    Or perhaps these people have learned its best not to leave the animals home alone where they will consume the baseboards and the sofa.

     

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