RABIES IN DATA LAND

There are times when one has to admit that one’s brain is fried.
Such as, for instance, today.
For the past two weeks we’ve been researching deductions taken by our big customers.
This in preparation for the board meeting and the presentation of our financials.

Normally I can simply spend most of my time calling up my portfolio of accounts, chatting about their kids and significant others, the weather, how about those Yankees then eh, would you believe what that governor said, the state of the world tssk tssk, here’s a recipe for stewed possum, oh and by the way you owe us money.

Unfortunately, I also must deal with “other” customers.
The big guys.

Our big customers are not so easy to deal with.

For one thing, they are all densely put-together Vendor Portals.
No human beings available, phone trees that go nowhere.
Just fully realized and inspired Vendor Portals.
The Vendor Portal has all the answers.

The Vendor Portal is Jesus and the Mahdi combined, trust us on this!
Now stop bugging us, we shan’t answer anymore e-mails, just go to our marvelous saintly sacred Vendor Portal and look it up.
All knowledge is given to the Vendor Portal pilgrim, with blessings!
If it isn’t there, you don’t need it, and shouldn't have it.
The second coming is also on there.
You just have to look.
Prayerfully.

Each Vendor Portal has a system which must have seemed inherent and logical to the team tasked with programming the internet face of these companies.
But using their sites is like discovering dysfunctional souls on-line.
Twisted data freaks who haven’t ever seen day.
Gibbering hairy sub-humans.
Trolls.


If you’re wondering at some strangeness on my blog in recent weeks, now you know why.
Prolonged exposure to rabid fruitbats.
And clerical cave-men.
Or women.

The goats are eating my mainframe.


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