Wednesday, February 29, 2012

BEHAVING LIKE A PERFECT LADY

I was outside smoking when one of the drivers caught in the three non-moving lanes in front of the building pressed on her horn. Long and loud. Good three minutes of blaring outrage.
I guess she really needed to be somewhere.

A young woman standing nearby with a cigarette reacted fiercely.

“Shee-hit, somebody should reach in and slap the biatch, teach the f****ng c**t how to act like a g$d d$mn$d lady!”

I agree. She’s right.
That horn was the same as a finger.
Which is not how a lady is supposed to behave.

Though I am male, I am somewhat of an expert on such things.

[As a drag-queen on Polk Street once said, “it takes a real man to be a woman”. ]



Consideration, perception, and ethics.

A concern for the dignity and sensitivities of other people is essential, but how a person is perceived is just as important. And without a sincere sense of ethics, it's all rather pointless.
Someone who cannot treat others without offending them or hurting their feelings is not worth associating with, while individuals whose sense of ethics is flawed are dangerous to know.
If they don't actually cheat you or steal from you, your association with them will tar you.

In order to be both considerate and ethical, honesty sometimes must take a back seat. Most people instinctively know that total honesty, while often commended, can actually be cruel and unnecessary.
It is sometimes better to obfuscate when it comes to personal matters, much more so when someone else is involved.
Often simply not saying anything at all,and safeguarding the privacy and emotional well-being of others as well as your own is the far better choice.

For the most part, etiquette means being kind, thoughtful, and keen to make a favourable impression, as well as maintaining one's own dignity and composure.

I'm not entirely convinced that the young woman who uttered the line above quite understood that.
But I'm fairly certain that the driver of the motor vehicle failed.


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2 comments:

Tzipporah said...

Oh dear. I have very little concern for the impression I make on others, and no doubt lack dignity. On the other hand, I do know better than to drive through downtown if I'm in a hurry.

Simon the Monster said...

I believe etiquette is something of an agreement to the terms of a situation. If we both respond to the rules, our interaction is smooth, and the balance of investment and return is maintained. As far as ethics is concerned, it is probably more a game of priorities. I will not be honest, as a rule, with police officers or people with pitchforks, but I will be painfully honest with my few human friends.

It is interesting to note that our varied perceptions of the meanings behind those two words, "etiquette" and "ethics" result in similar behaviors.

I am a humanitarian, but when I say that, I am referring to a dietary plan...... not the amount of money I contribute to an African children's fund.

Meanings are important.

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