IN PRAISE OF PIZZA

On Monday I was at the office despite the holiday, and one of my customers called regarding his invoice. He regularly places large orders and had promised to settle his account after the trade show.
Normally, phone conversations concerning bills and payments can be rather short – essential information is imparted in a friendly and efficient manner, salutations are exchanged, and both sides put their phones down ecstatic at the outcome – but one out of three or four customers will want to talk longer.
Much longer.
Maybe it was because the office was empty, or because of the caffeine coursing through my veins, but Monday’s conversation lasted quite a while.
More likely the caffeine.

People love talking to me. And many of my customers are themselves fascinating without even realizing it, so it's a pleasure listening to them.
They read, they are well-informed, and with a little prompting they will voice interesting opinions, or mention fascinating details of their lives and recent experiences.
I am often surprised and enchanted by what I hear.

This customer was on the East-Coast, surrounded by co-workers and hot pizza. There was a close connection between the co-workers and the pizza - he had bought the pizza because they were working late.
Orders had to be shipped, and pizza works miracles.
Pizza, as you are aware, inspires!
Pizza is a minor deity.
Brain food.

I got the impression it was very good pizza. Even with the sodas and caffeinated beverages that accompanied the delivery pie. While my customer was detailing his plans to go to Brazil later in the year, and come out to California for the mountains and pure spring water, happy comments about anchovies and crispy thin thin crust could be heard in the back ground.
I actually wanted the conversation to last much longer, as being among vibrant people cheerfully scarfing down good pizza while stone cold sober is a charming experience, even if only by long distance telephone connection, but once we had finished discussing mountains, heavy metal, rambunctious dancing, languages, Italian food, and elements of mediaeval literature, the pizza was all gone.

I can offer you an ear over the phone.
The pizza you'll have to take care of yourself.
Please feel free to call me up with your mouth full of food.
Consider it both multi-tasking and going for the totality of experience.

EXTRA TOPPINGS!

Years ago I was at a late night pizza joint when someone claiming to be a doctor ordered two large pies to go, while trying to put the make on a middle-aged woman of extremely doubtful stability.
She managed to verbally sidestep all his advances. Very ably, too.
Even if he had been sober she would've wiped the floor with his flirting.
As it was he didn't stand a chance. Drunk, crazy, out of his goofy mind. And loaded up with two boxes of cheap pizza, extra cheese.

Mediocre cheese pie is not, strictly speaking, a powerful inducement to a night of passionate romance. At least not without a strong element of fantasy and vodka for both parties involved.

After he left, the friend I was with and I speculated what might have happened if the "doctor" had succeeded in picking up the woman. Likely he would've woken up the next day, disheveled, greasy, hung-over...... bed sheets crusted with smears of stale cheese and tomato sauce.
Apartment a total mess.

No, his wallet would not be missing, but his shoes and socks might be.
Just to show that she also could've taken the wallet.
Or prove some other point.

Actually, we don't KNOW why she would steal his socks and shoes. We had our doubts about her, and I did mention her 'doubtful stability', so there's no telling what exactly might motivate her to take off running like a deer with his socks and shoes after he got naked and started eating pizza.
Possibly because it just felt right.
But we are 100% certain that if Doctor Pizza had taken her home, shoes and socks would be missing.
Possibly even multiples of footwear.
Several pairs of both.
Boots too.

If you ever see an elderly woman around town wearing shoes that are five sizes too large, with smears of cheese and tomato sauce on them, you'll know why.
It's only a matter of time.

We're also fairly sure both of them are still unhitched.
Probably because of the footwear.


I am delighted that I have customers who can fascinatingly discuss such things as mountains, heavy metal, rambunctious dancing, languages, Italian food, elements of mediaeval literature, and pizza.

Especially pizza.

It makes for wonderful memories.



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