Sunday, February 05, 2012

A MILD OBSESSION WITH LACE, SILK, AND COTTON.

You may have noticed that I placed a clickable LETTERBOX underneath my posts, just in case some of my readers wish to contact me privately.
It’s simply a dedicated comment field underneath a particular post, and serves no other purpose than confidential communication.

So far, one reader who remembered me from another blog dropped in to say ‘hi’, several sporadic visitors have introduced themselves, a few people asked questions to which either I do not know the answer OR to which I will eventually respond.
A multitude of spammers have tried to seed my box with adverts – they’ve been deleted.

And one person sent me a question that oh boy howdy do I know the answer to.
TEN answers, in fact.

Name withheld asked: “How do I get into girls' panties?”

It’s an interesting quandary. It says more about the querent than he could possibly imagine.
In fact it indicates a particular bent to his mind which is neither uncommon, nor entirely sane.

"How do I get into girls' panties?"


I did not consult anyone I know, as they do it naturally.
It's something they've done every day of their lives for as long as they can remember, but never thought about.
It hasn't been a problem; they wouldn't have a clue how to answer that question.
Might even consider it somewhat forward.

I've given it some serious thought, however.


TEN WAYS TO GET INTO GIRLS' PANTIES

1. Harvest items from the Laundromat.
2. One leg at a time.
3. Creatively rename your boxer shorts.
4. Hide in a hamper (do not go 'boo!').
5. I'm into pipe tobacco myself, btw.
6. Wait till there's no one else in them.
7. Insist on trying things on at the store.
8. Lose a bet with your college dorm mates.
9. Be careful what you wish for.

And lastly:

10. Zen-like concentration, grasshopper, Zen-like concentration!


Like any hobby, read up on the subject and learn about the materials before you start collecting. Decide whether you want to focus on size, texture, or trim. Or even delicate variations in hue from year to year.
Also, bear in mind that while it isn't rare for a male to develop a fascination for feminine undergarments - heck, ninety percent of the men I know find it an intriguing subject - women tend to look askance at this, especially if it becomes obsessive. Women never get into men's underwear, and no young lady has ever glanced at the manly men in the Sears catalogue modeling their 'tidy whities'.

Even comfortable boxers, such as I myself have on AT THIS VERY MOMENT, do not excite the female of the species.
Good lord man, no one actually has a clue what women like about men.
But it sure isn't our underpants.


Keep me updated on your progress, and feel free to post pictures of prize specimens on the internet.
And thank you so much for asking for my advice.
I have never felt so avuncular!


NOTE: The question that 'name withheld' actually posed was “How do I get into Chinese girls' panties”, but I felt that was narrowing it down a bit too much. Here in the Bay Area, MOST young ladies wear panties; consequently the diversity of sizes and shapes available at the stores is immense. The chance of finding panties in YOUR size is much greater if you expand your range.
As far as I know, there is no special material or decorative detail to Chinese girls' panties that sets them apart.
They wear much the same as everyone else.

What, you thought it was something like the secret Masonic handshake?


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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:

LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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1 comment:

pedantically amphibious said...

Item 1, above ("Harvest items from the Laundomat") you will no doubt be interested to know, is somewhat analogous to what used to be known as "the gooseberry lay" in American underworld argot. Dashiell Hammett, in his classic THE MALTESE FALCON, had Sam Spade taunt the killer, Wilmer: "How long have you been off the gooseberry lay?". Hammett's editor jumped on the phrase, assuming it to have sexual connotations, and totally missed the fact that the word "gunsel", which Spade uses earlier in the book, means catamite.

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