THAT NICE FULL FEELING

Further to yesterday's zesty discussion of middle-aged male pulchritude, it has come to my attention that there are humane mouse traps which do not damage the little beastie.
They are battery operated.

One of the cigar smokers, who is NOT part of the gang at the wall, has acquired such a device.
Every day he eagerly checks to see if mice have been caught.
Then he takes them out and wrings their necks.

I need to emphasize that he is NOT part of the gang at the wall.

We just know him.

Okay?!?


Dave suggested that perhaps he ate his little victims, whereupon I observed that mice, no matter how plump and juicy, should not be considered a meaningful source of meal-time protein.
What with skinning and gutting (as well as removing the heads, paws, and tails), there can't be enough meat left for even half a sandwich, let alone a full meatloaf.
If he eats them (doubtful, in my estimation), he is probably best served by first braising them in butter, then seething them with a little red wine or brandy. That should get rid of the gamey taste.
Especially if he adds garlic.
Lots of garlic.

Still, hardly any meat. Doesn't seem worth it.


NAKED MAN ON ALL FOURS
Dave disagrees.
There's PLENTY of protein to be had from Murinae.
Why, according to Farley Mowatt, whom he read once, wolves out in the wilds of Canada derive most of their diet from mice running through the tall grass.
Extremely nutritious!

Both of us speculated a while about P.B. (the mouse catcher) loping across the prairie naked on all fours, leaping after fleeing vermin in an agile fashion.
Assuming that he channels for wolves.
Rather than Hannibal Lecter.
Naked running man.
Middle aged.
Thrill!

A naked man in motion, hurtling gazelle-like through the undergrowth.


BOUNDING MIDDLE-AGED NUDE
He'd have to be on all fours and naked, because that's how wolves hunt.
It must be the only way to catch enough mice for a full feeling.
Well, perhaps wearing his fetching head-gear.
P.B. has a collection of hats.

Further to the speculative feral nudity of our acquaintance, it is quite possible that instead of nourishment, the objective of his mouse-catching is to save up enough pelts to make a coat.


Especially if he's running around naked.
Imagine lots of pinkness.
And howling.
Cold.


A mouse-fur coat would be quite the conversation piece. And require a deft hand with a needle, which we would not be at all surprised to find out P.B. has.
A very nice fur coat.
All warm and soft.
Go on, touch it.

In the meantime, he probably stashes their little cadavers in the freezer.
So that other mice aren't scared off by his charnel house.
Likely puts cheese out to lure them in.
The more, the merrier!
Or 'furrier'...


We're waiting to hear that he has adapted his device for larger game.
Now that he's smelled blood.
Next up: chickens.
Or man.

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