The other day a new reader found a post on this blog and was horribly offended by some glib off the cuff remark about Philippinas.
She left a comment inviting me to intercourse myself.
Oh dear.
I’m a sensitive man, and hurt by her anger.
Not because the proposed course of action would be infinitely less satisfying for me than a similar exercise could be for her (and I have some 'creative' suggestions which might make that truly stupendous), but because she may have incorrectly perceived a degree of dislike towards her kind in my remark.
I'm actually quite fond of Philippinas, truly.
Some of my very best friends.......
Maraming apologies, po.
Look, the nature of an anonymous soapbox like this blog is that glib and possibly undiplomatic things will occasionally be said.
Even about women.
Over the years I've learned, through exposure, experience, and keen observation, that there are very many women I should avoid.
Among those are Philippinas.
I admire their brash over-confidence, their brazeness, and their ability to get their own way and twist their men-folk around their little finger, but as a group they are probably the most shark-like bipeds on the planet.
Individually they can often be charming.
Dangerous but charming.
Others I refuse to get close to are women with tattoos, fingernail polish and too much make-up, and a disturbingly profound knowledge of clothes, shopping, Hello Kitty, shopping, south of Market clubs, shopping, celebrities, shopping, Real Housewives of New Jersey/Atlanta/Beverly Hills, shopping, all the Kardasians, shopping, handbags, shopping, footwear, shopping, Macy's, shopping, the Westfield Mall, shopping, designer discount outlets, and shopping.
Yes, that IS a perfect description of Philippinas!
Well, except for the tattoos - those belong to stupid chicks who are unique individuals whom we should worship for being so totally unique my heavens how unique can you get.
They COULD be Philippinas. But they're mostly white.
Basically, given how many feminine things are on my blacklist, I might be described as a misogynist.
Except that I really do like women.
Women so engrossed in a book that they don't notice anything else.
Women closing their eyes in bliss while eating.
Women who defend their opinions.
Women of character.
I also like Philippino food.
Fortunately I know enough about it, and how to cook it, that there is no need whatsoever to associate with women from the Philippines.
Philippino food is some seriously good stuff.
Some of my very best friends aren't Philippinas.
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6 comments:
"The other day a new reader found a post on this blog and was horribly offended by some glib off the cuff remark about Philippinas."
Link, please.
This comment string: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=17704096&postID=2103952707140943125&isPopup=true
Under this post:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2011/10/in-mong-kok-snack-with-your-fat-sister.html.
She took umbrage at just one minor detail. But it filled her world.
Please excuse this comment -- it is not on the top of this post, namely Filippinas
Do you know anything about the Shakespirrer Chassidim, and could you employ your excellent writing sckills to tell us something about them?
She didn't invite you to intercourse yourself; she just wrote "f*** you" (paraphrasis due to this being a "family restaurant/blog"). I must say I expected more creativity in invective, and was rather disappointed.
I misread point three as "Women who defend their onions" and didn't think it out of place until my eyes refocused. Time for another glass of wine.
ALWAYS defend your onions!
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