THE WAR OF THE SEXES

It has been nearly a year and a half since the break-up. I am, more or less, entirely over it.
But I haven’t seen anyone since.
In a large part that’s because I have no wish to engage in the futility of dating someone.
It wouldn’t lead to a relationship. I am not the man that women dream of.

Nor are most women the kind of people I want to know.


If you've read this blog for a while, you probably have a fair idea of what kind of person I am, and what kind of person I would like to share my life.

Someone to touch, to hug, to eat dinner with, to wander around the city with, to share books with.
An occasional show, lots of quiet time together reading, and a cup of tea.
No tattoos, no piercings, no hip night clubs, no trips to Vegas.
Someone whose quiet tastes I can admire.

[NOTE OF EXPLANATION FOR THE ETERNALLY CONFUSED: 'touch and hug' implies a zesty physical side to the relationship. This is very important, and should be so for both parties. 'Eat dinner with' means someone who enjoys food and likes eating with someone, NOT an individual who lists everything she will not or cannot eat because of phobias and irrational cultural biases, imagined health reasons, self-centered neuroses, or typical spoilt and oh so special middle class pretensions, while yacking on about 'Sex in the City', 'Real Housewives of New Jersey', or her latest shopping extravaganza. 'Wander around the city with' refers to someone who is capable of enjoying the character of different neighborhoods and their people and also likes quiet walks over Nob Hill and Russian hill just holding hands. 'Share books with' connotes someone who reads for enjoyment, and has favourite volumes that she re-reads, as well as someone who has strong ideas about what sets a good book apart from a piece of trash. 'An occasional show' means two seats side by side at a musical or play once in a while. 'Lots of quiet time together' implies feeling happy in each other's company without needing constant reassurance or attention - contentedly lazing together all afternoon and reading is fine. Which brings up the last item mentioned, namely 'a cup of tea': It is immaterial who suggests "why don't we have a cup of tea", what is important is that the suggestion be a natural and welcome one.
Tattoos, piercings, drunkenness at clubs, and trips to Vegas are indicative of a trashy value system, low tastes, and a lack of self-respect.]


I really do not think that such a person exists.
If she does, she's probably already otherwise engaged.


Usually I don't worry about it.
Yes, it's incredibly irritating that everyone I work with is married or involved in a relationship. Some of the people I know just won't shut up about their wife or husband or significant other, and their children, and everybody's wonderful familial adventures and praestations. And by now I've long been accustomed to the sickening waves of sticky-poo social expression that accompany the announcements of engagements, pending marriages, pregnancies.
These things are as inevitable and as common as flu germs, and one should expect nausea regularly throughout the year.
But most of the time I just try to ignore it.
Same as with the sewer stink of downtown SF.

Generally speaking, I like women. But they can be conversationally quite impossible.
And if we do not share any interests, there isn't even any point in trying.
Besides, the vast majority of them seem to have odd ideas about men.

That last flaw, by the way, is the fault of the advertising industry, the fashion industry, the entertainment industry, cosmetics, and romance fiction.

All fields dominated by men.

I don't like men.


==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================