Underneath a recent post, someone left an intriguing comment: “What, no sugared wahinis?”
I like the concept. Wahini is the Hawaiian word for woman.
Please imagine a female Polynesian person of attractive hue and proportion, delicately dusted with confectioner's sugar.
Looks scrumptious, doesn't it?
SUGARED WAHINIS
My reaction to that comment was in its own way not entirely sane.
Possibly due to the first flush of morning caffeination.
Two strong cups of coffee and a cup of tea.
I was zipped to the eye-brows.
More normal now.
"Or perhaps (dare I hope!), bright young ladies slathered in ghee and honey, ooooh baby baby, with a sprinkling of almonds, crumbled pistachio, saffron essence, powdered cardamom, and rose petals? With very little else?"
See, that there is just too much. Both almonds AND pistachios? Either one or the other, not both. Same goes for the saffron essence and the cardamom.
The rose petals are only a garnish, but because they would undoubtedly adhere to the stickiness, and get soggy from the honey and ghee, not such a bright idea.
Good thing rose petals are edible.
And on thinking about it, I would actually prefer that the young lady be tastefully dressed.
Nude and slathered with ghee and honey rather limits the conversational and social options.
Additionally, the clean-up after being visited by a young lady slathered in ghee and honey (and crumbled nuts) is likely to be nightmarish.
One needn't clean up after sensibly dressed people.
So I retract the suggestion. It was unwise from the get-go.
Slathering a young lady should be a result decided upon by both parties involved, after mature discussion and reflection, and only once all necessary precautions (festive tarpaulin, privacy, and buckets of soapy water, plus handi-wipes) have been arranged. Only then.
Young lady slathering is a possible end game.
Not a good starting point.
If she's slathered from the beginning, all further developments are rather predictable, and both parties are pretty much committed to a very sticky afternoon.
Admittedly including ghee, which is very good.
Still, with all that honey too!
It attracts flies.
The other thing that comes to mind is that with the climate we have in San Francisco, she would probably want to be fully clothed in any case. Baby, it's cold outside! So it's also a question of being warm and comfortable, versus cold, sticky, and shivering in the rain.
Slathering, of any type, will have to wait till spring.
Plus honey and ghee (or molasses and Crisco) will likely drive your dry-cleaning bill through the roof if you slather BEFORE the weather is decent.
As a sane and common-sense alternative, I propose tossing a handful of trail-mix at an attractive well-dressed woman instead.
It's just as exciting, and far healthier.
Much cleaner, too.
I would be most keen to hear my readers' thoughts on this matter.
Naked skin, honey, ghee, almonds and pistachios?
Or warm clothing and trail-mix?
No slathering.
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1 comment:
Though I'm dressed like a health care professional when I'm cruzin' around in the van, legally, I'm not a doctor.
However, in my humble opinion, the scenario you put forth will only lead to frantic late night calls about yeast infections and nut allergies.
But maybe that's just my Lutheran upbringing talking...Full speed ahead and damn the authorities I say.
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