BELCHING HAPPILY

Two ladies were talking near me, and I’m not ashamed to admit I was listening in on their conversation.
At one point, one of them asked the other whether she should get breast implants. Her friend thought it was a good idea, but cautioned her to at first just do one – “to find out if it really suits you”.

No, neither of these two prizes was blonde.
And for the record, their frontages weren’t particularly modest either.


It reminded me of the tale about the Belgian Highway Authorities wondering about the low rate of traffic accidents in Britain, as compared to their own country. They concluded that driving on the left had something to do with it. It forced the person behind the wheel to think better before acting or re-acting.
So clearly that was worth trying in Belgium also.

“But for the first 6 months, trucks only – so people get used to it!”

Logically that makes complete sense. All change must be gradual.


GO ON, TRY IT!

Many of the folks wandering around Chinatown are baffled by the 'newness' of it all. This is NOT their comforting home environment, and everything is just so frightfully odd.
They feel this way despite the fact that they themselves are the foreign element, having come to San Francisco from Arkansas or Iowa, and quite regardless of the evident age and worn familiarity of the buildings and businesses.
Obviously, to the natives, it is neither new, nor odd.

Being somewhat able to speak culinary Cantonese is a great help in finding tasty things to stick into my mouth in San Francisco. But our Midwestern friends are not so lucky. Frequently they will first look at the offerings at bakeries and dimsummeries with panicked fear, then timidly point at something and stutter out “what is that?”
When it becomes evident that the lady behind the counter cannot explain it in Midwesternese, or even English, they will huddle together to elect ONE member of their group as the person who will attempt to negiotiate something non-frightening to eat.
Desperate measures! They're so hungry!
And NOTHING looks like a hot pocket.

Sometimes I jump in to explain stuff. Usually not.

The first question that they really SHOULD ask after “what is that” is not “what is that” again, but “how much?”
None of these things is expensive, most items are less than a dollar.
Yesterday I ate very well indeed for two dollars and eighty cents (plus a one dollar bill into the tip jar).
Just happily trying ONE unknown item isn't going to bankrupt you, and you might actually like it. And if there are four or five of you, share three or four things that you've never seen before.

A fascinating adventure, for less than five bucks.
How can you lose?

* * * * * *

It must have taken immense courage for the first person to drink that very first cup of coffee centuries ago.
“Oh, the horrible expense! And no doubt it will turn me into a vampire-werewolf, with fangs and buboes!
I will be excommunicated and disinherited! Aaaaugh!”.
Same goes for beer, champagne, and cheese.
All entirely new at some point.

Either that or they were threatened with death.

I will nevertheless applaud the tourists for the sheer courage it takes to NOT eat at Ihop or Boo-king when in San Francisco. Sheer cold guts.
Bravely into the unknown, my comrades.


As the poet Tennyson might have put it:
“Edibles to right of them, edibles to left of them, edibles in front of them....... into the valley of death......”


A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
And if you have doubts, just do ONE breast at a time.
I suggest the one on the left, so people 'get used' to it.

All change must be gradual.



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